This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Monday, March 26, 2007

What Is the Best Kind of Ant?

It is spring time for frizzy hair and ants. For me anyway. I woke the other morning to my army of visitors and was inspired to murder every last one be philosophical and blog about them. So in honor of ants…

Ant Jokes

What do you call a 100 year old ant?
Antique!

What do you call an ant with frogs’ legs?
Antphibian!

What’s the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?
One is a legacy and the other is a sea of legs!

Why did the ant race along the boxtop?
Because the box said: “Tear Along Dotted Line.”

What kind of ant is good at adding things up?
An acountant!

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Tenants.

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independant!

Where do ants go for their holidays?
Frants!

What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant!

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics!

What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater!

What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Antibiotics!

Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they are full of antibodies!

Why did the elephant put his trunk across the path?
To trip up the ants!

What game do ants play with elephants?
Squash!

What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!

What is even bigger than an elephant?
A giant!

What do you call an ant in space?
Cosmonants & Astronants!

What do you call an ant from overseas?
Important!

What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
An ant's mouth!


The Ants Go Marching(Traditional)


The ants go marching one by one
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching one by one
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching one by one
The little one stops to suck his thumb
And they all go marching
Down to the groundTo get out of the rainBoom Boom Boom

The ants go marching two by two
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching two by two
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching two by two
The little one stops to tie his shoe
And they all go marching
Down to the ground
To get out of
the rain
Boom Boom Boom The ants go marching three by three
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching three by three
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching three by three
The little one stops cause he skinned his knee
And they all go marching Down to the ground
To get out of the rain
Boom Boom Boom

The ants go marching four by four
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching four by four
Hoorah, hoorah
The ants go marching four by four
The little one stops to shut the door
And they all go marching
Down to the groundTo get out of the rain
Boom Boom Boom


Additional Verses
Five by five: Stops to see the bee hive
Six by six: Picks up sticks
Seven by seven: prays to heaven
Eight by eight: closes the gate
Nine by nine: starts to whine
Ten by ten: starts all over again


To answer my question: "What is the best kind of ant??" The same answer as what happens when the elephant stepped on the ant? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant!! (To the Pink Panther tune.)

7 comments:

DebD said...

Ants haven't invaded my home - yet! But I agree - the only good ant is a dead ant.

Loved all the jokes

Overwhelmed! said...

No ants so far this spring, but I've had them in the past.

I love your sense of humor! :)

Bss said...

Ants live with us year round, from little tiny ants to great BIG carry you off when you are asleep ants. What is worse is they all BITE!

Liza's Eyeview said...

After reading this post, my view of ants will never be the same - LOL!

What a fun post! This turns something that could be "annoying" to something that's fun - yep - joyful!

Karen said...

How funny!!!

I use grits to "kill" ants. They carry them back into their mound to share with their friends, then they expand and die. It seems to kill the
"queen" ant and they all disappear. I don't know why this works, but it has worked for us better than any commercial "ant" killer.

Jenny in Ca said...

oh, you are cracking me up! My kids will love the jokes.

Jennifer said...

Those are funny. I'll have to share them with my girl. I was going to give you the Pink Panther one, but you knew it. . . .