This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Works for Me Wednesday--Parenting Advice Edition

A friend of mine is having her first baby in December. I certainly don’t have this parenting thing all down pat. In fact, I often feel like I am learning on the fly. But I guess there are a few things I think to be important. And basically that is what this list is, things I have shared or will share with my friend.

I am NOT saying I do all or even any of these things well—just I’ve found them to be important to me. After I pontificate to her I will then point her to this WFMW at Shannon’s and let her get really good info from all the other wise contributors to WFMW—The Parenting Advice Edition.


10 Don’ts and 10 Dos:

DON'Ts

1. Don’t do something just because it is in a popular book.

2. Don’t do something just because all the other parents are doing so.

3. Don’t feel bad for having your own set of rules.

4. Don’t be afraid to change rules that don’t work.

5. Don’t be afraid to put your children first.

6. Don’t be so quick to force independence—protection is what parents are supposed to do.

7. Don’t be afraid to be human.

8. Don’t pretend you have all the answers. "Let's look it up together." Goes a long way. Admitting that you don't always know what is what is tough, but can be rewarding.

9. Don’t be afraid to say, “No.” But sometimes try to figure out how it can be a, “Yes.”

10. Don’t assume you know what they’re going to say—be prepared to be surprised at their answers.

DOs

1. Be their safe harbor—to have a child come to you with full trust is an awe inspiring thing.

2. Be their advocate—if you don’t go to bat for them how will they ever learn to bat for themselves—and why do you thing someone else will do it.

3. Do go with your gut. Don’t care what the nurse on the doctors’ info line says, don’t care what your best friend says, don’t care what your sister says—if you really, really think something is wrong it is better to be safe than sorry. This applies to so many things.

4. Do eat well and exercise. You want to be around for a long time and you want them to learn from your wonderful example.

5. Do read—alone and together, silently and aloud, as a whole family, let the kids read to each other. Read and read a lot of different things.

6. Do say you are sorry. It took me until way late in life to admit to ever being wrong, and while no one would accuse me of being a humble person, I truly want to have a humble heart before God, my spouse and my children.

7. Do love your spouse.

8. Do pray for your children.

9. Do pray with your children & your spouse.

10. Do love God first. They learn what they see.

Visit Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer for more WFMW.

9 comments:

An Ordinary Mom said...

What a great list! Our children really do need to know we are human and that we make mistakes, too. Adults in our house also know how to say sorry when are to quick to get upset.

Bss said...

Great reminders for those of us who are *not* first time parents, too!

Amberly said...

Such wonderful advice! Your friend is blessed to have someone with such wisdom to offer her!

Barbara H. said...

All great advice -- and as another commenter said, even when we've been at parenting a while we need to remind ourselves of these things.

Jill said...

This is a really great list. I loved number 9 of the dont's. A good reminder!

Coach J said...

Great stuff! I agree with you! I really like the "Do go to bat for your children". I've stuck my neck out far for my son, only to look back and say "if you aren't telling the truth, i'll kill you myself" :) But it proves to him that I'm for him making it in life!

At A Hen's Pace said...

Thanks for your kind comments on my post--you have a great list yourself!

I'm so with you on Do #6.

Blessings--

Jeanne

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

ah this is beautiful, julie! love what you wrote here. you keep wowing me with your awwwhhh factor.

happy friday, kathleen :)

Liza's Eyeview said...

Excellent Do's and Don't. I think I'll print out a copy of this and to place on my bedroom as a reminder .