This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Friday, May 9, 2008

AN IMPORTANT WARNING!!!!

I never, never post forwarded e-mails. But given the important and vital information this one contained, I felt it was my duty to warn women bloggers--mommy bloggers everywhere. My sister sent it to me so I am certain it is true. Read on and be afraid, be very afraid...


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My bu^t was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new bu^t was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts-stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?


THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

My good deed is done for the day. This was one of those anonymous forwards. If anyone knows who to credit it to, I would be happy to do so.

7 comments:

luvmy4sons said...

Too funny. Thanks for the chuckle! And thanks for stopping by my blog and for your comment. I thought about using one of the quotes you used...the one I saw at your place...but didn't want to go a stealin' another's thunder! LOL!

annie said...

Funny!!!

DebD said...

That was great!

Renee' said...

Too funny! Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day and a great weekend!

Kim said...

Too funny! Thanks for the chuckle and thanks for all your warm wishes for healthiness you have left on my blog recently! I haven't been a very good blog friend lately and just haven't done much visiting.
*smiles*
Kim

Donna said...

At age 63, I can certainly relate to this.

Dianne said...

A little late here but thanks for the laugh tonight! :)