This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Monday, September 8, 2008

Things I Know to Be True

There are just some things in life that are undeniable facts. Such as:

If your husband is in a different time zone your mother-in-law will certainly call. At a rather late hour.

And since you love the man so much, you will take the call because you know he is already asleep and if you don't she will proceed to call him and wake him up.

And you know that if he should choose to sleep through the call (yes, there's a lot of history in that statement), your mother-in-law would call your father. Who would then panic and call you to make sure you aren't like, you know, dead or something. (Not that I would have any experience with that happening before. Or anything. Much.)

Ahem....

Other true things:

If your husband might be in that still same different time zone, appointments you have been waiting for WILL become available. NOW. And you have to choose to take your sons with you or find a baby-sitter.

Which really doesn't help with school.

Especially since another there is another true thing:

If your husband still has his watch set for a different time than you do, at least one of your sons will have a crisis in remembering how to...oooooooooooh...say... do math, read, and get ready for bed, and possibly some other things.

This son will, however remember exactly where every button you have is, and talentedly push them.

All.

At the same time.

And you will have a meltdown of epic proportions.

And finally, a new thing I learned to be true...

If the second set of keys to your car are in another time zone. With the man you are married to, of course. You will go to Sam's Club. Get items you need. Load them in the trunk.

And then lose the car key in the five steps to the drivers seat.

Did I mention the trunk release is broken, not only in the car, but also on the key fob?

No? Well, it is.

Did I mention the key fob and the key are separated?

No? Well, they are.

These things would allow your very orderly, oldest son to try to think of two hundred ways to help. None of which are practical, but sweet, nonetheless.

It would also allow your youngest son to panic and think you might have to live in the parking lot of Sam's for, oh... say... a few weeks at least. And have to go to the bathroom. All of a sudden, like.

This would allow you to have the time to realize that if someone had left the second set of keys (which operate NOTHING in another time zone at the house, you could call a friend, have her come pick you up and go get them.

But he didn't. So you can't.

Thankfully you at least might have unlocked the car to load the trunk, using the key to open the trunk so the car alarm wouldn't go off.

This would also, thankfully, allow you NOT to have to dump the contents of your purse on the parking lot. The backseat worked much better, thank you.

And mercifully, after only ten or forty people have seen you making a spectacle of yourself, you will find the key.

And then you will realize as you drive home, you could have managed to get into the trunk via the back seat. Which apparently your sons know how to work, but failed to remember during the crisis. So you would have found the key not to be there anyway. But would have made a much more brilliant spectacle.

After getting home and unloading the contents of the car you will find the only thing that will make life better is a nap.

Those are things I know to be true.

5 comments:

Alicia said...

Yep - I've had days like that. - And I lose my keys after I unlock the car far more frequently than one would expect.

Barbara H. said...

Oh no! Sounds like Mom's version of as horrible no-good very bad day. :-) I'm glad you did find the key.

You've inspired me to remember a somewhat similar incident...I may write about it some day soon.

Funny how when the kids are younger things always seem to happen when dad's away!

Carrie said...

Oh, I am sorry but this made me laugh. You wrote it so well and I could see everything so clearly! Praying that all goes well for you today.

Carey said...

Sounds like its been a very long day for you! Hope today is a better one!

sheryl said...

Oh! This was such a hoot to read (although I'm sure it was anything but while you were IN the crisis!).
Thanks for being willing to share :)