Wordless Wednesday

Klipspringers and Meerkats

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"I Thought You Would’ve Gotten Past that by Now"

There are still days I struggle with baggage over my mother’s death. There was much left undone, unsaid, unacknowledged. Because that was how she wanted it. Her passing left behind things that had been hidden or glossed over for many, many years. Don’t get me wrong. She was a great lady who made a difference in many lives. But she (as are we) was human.

Sometimes I think I should have one big blow-out melt-down and be done with it. That that would wipe the slate clean and I could move on. The converse thought is that if I allow the melt-down I might never climb out of the pit.

One of my IRL friends has shared that she was surprised I was still not “over” my mother’s death. I guess it is coming up on seven months now. Mom had been sick for over three years and in this friend’s opinion I should be moving forward. As in done with it.

The problem with losing a loved one (or having any other large life trauma, like divorce, major health issue or job loss) is that it is your sorrow and not someone else’s. Life does march on and we have to keep marching or get left far behind. Our society we doesn’t dwell on the past much and our own lives are so complicated it is hard to remember the thorns someone else is trying to remove from their heart. We’re past it, we aren’t thinking about it, so it comes as a surprise that our (possibly close) friend is still struggling. We’re encouraged as a society to put a good face on it and this too shall pass.

My friend surprised me with her attitude because she is someone who others turn to for advice. But she is not a Christian and would never consider Christian wisdom a viable thought when addressing needs. So I suppose that plays into it. And since I’ve known her for over a third of my life and it’s not really a new thing about her, I’m surprised I’m surprised. But it caught me off guard. She’s a good person with some good qualities, but with very defined and rigid ideas of how things should be.

I think I am moving forward, but apparently not at the pace my friend would like. I have some really good “normal” days. And then I have some others. It’s only been in the last month or so I was able to start sorting photos to scan and many items my father gave me were left in boxes until I could face them. I tried, probably to early, to address some of this before and just wasn’t able. But with time and faith and a loving God time will move on and I will too.

Grains of Gratitude

I am grateful my husband has a good job, I am grateful my husband has a good job, I am grateful my husband has a good job…but…and you heard that coming didn’t you? 

My husband is on the road again. He was gone a few days last week and will be gone for the largest part of this week. He works from home (telecommuting) about 75-85% of the time. So when he travels it really changes our lifestyle. And I miss him and the boys miss him. So I am grateful my husband has a good job and I am grateful that he’s home most of the time. And I am grateful I have such a great guy to miss.

Signs of spring are appearing slowly and I am so grateful. Winter seemed so long this year. And it wasn’t what one would call a “bad” winter for us. I think I am just getting old. Spring is my second favorite season (fall being the first) and it is fun to have noticeable changes to watch daily.

I am grateful for people who are nice to my boys.

The sweet lady who sat behind us in church last night blessed me. Our church family is huge (over 2000 families) and there is no way to know everyone. So when someone steps out and makes an effort to be kind it is such a blessing. She stopped us after Mass and asked if she was correct in remembering our boys had been welcomed into full membership of the Church on Easter Vigil. (She was correct. :) ) Then she proceeded to tell us how nice it was to see young men who were able to focus during worship and be so obviously interested the liturgy. She had something nice to say about each boy individually.

I was grateful she didn’t witness how “wonderfully” (not) the boys behaved in the car ride to the airport (for a rental car for my husband) last night. I am grateful my boys know when it is most important to use their best manners. It affords them several “byes” at home when the manners may fail.

We went to dinner at our favorite place last night after picking up the rental. (I was grateful not to have to cook!) One of the servers (not ours last night) is a beautiful young woman who consistently appears happy and friendly. She made it a point to stop by our table and talk to the boys & to tell us how much she likes to see them. She always makes us smile. Right before our food arrived, Roo (very uncharacteristically) spilled an almost full glass. He was embarrassed and near tears. She came over and put her arm around him and told him not to worry and things like that happened to other people all the time.

I need to remember how special it is when someone takes the time to speak kind and uplifting words. I need to do this more often for others. Just a few kind words can change a person’s entire day. That is my challenge for this week; to try to bless someone with just a few seconds of my time.

Grains of Gratitude began with Christine at Brady’s Bunch.

What are you grateful for?

Faith Lift Friday

I Am

by Jill Phillips singer, songwriter

Visit Sheryl at Taking the Challenge to find other bloggers sharing uplifting thoughts to start the weekend.

Technical Difficulties

For those of you who missed the fiasco of the acid green blog, consider yourselves very lucky. For those of you who saw...Sorry. Hope your vision corrects itself soon. That was yucky!!

I'm not sure this was what I had in mind, but it'll do for now.

Until I find something postable (is that a word? Spell Check says, "No!") Try this:

75

Coming Up Empty

There are a few ideas rolling around my head...I can hear them bumping into each other. But they aren't flowing down the arms, through the fingers and to the keyboard.

Apparently I am


I'll mess around with my colors & photos while I wait for something fascinating to come to mind...I may be waiting forever. Looking back I don't see much fascinating.

Any suggestions?

Edited to add--Well that is obnoxious. Unfortunately I need to run. Look away until I fix the train wreck.

Wordless Wednesday

NEMO & ANEMONE

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nemo

Grains of Gratitude

Falling off the face of the earth happens sometimes.

My thought was that when I returned to blogging, I would be ready to post everyday, but this pesky thing called life continues to “get in the way.” Just kidding—and certainly not complaining. But one thing I learned during my time off was that “Life” certainly does take a precedent over everything. And I was still very worn down from the business of life. So I decided to go with the flow and enjoy it.

And I am grateful for enjoying: my father’s visit. He learned a lot and talked to some great people at his seminar. He took us out to eat more than once—which he didn’t have to do. He treated himself to a guitar and I hope he starts playing again, something he used to enjoy.

My husband watched the boys and Dad and I got to spend some time out and about. Then he and my husband took care of some things he wanted to do while he was here. That was great.

He also surprised us with a gas grill! We’ve not had one in over fifteen years of marriage. We’ve always cooked on teeny tiny little kettle grills. My husband is quite enamored of this new toy. He’s recommended we used it for everything! Including cereal...ummmm...NO.

My nephew joined us late in the week and we are grateful for his visit. The boys got school work done so that while he was here they could just have fun. And they used just about every moment. They were very good, but not excited about bedtimes. Not enough hours in the day when you are having fun.

I am grateful I got a lot of my house in better order. There are still projects to tackle, but it has been nice to be able to comfortably welcome guests. That was one of my goals in the cleaning, decluttering and rearranging; to be able to feel better about having company. I think I may have got some good habits started.

Grains of Gratitude originates with Christine over at Brady’s Bunch. I’m always grateful to visit her. It’s like a slice of sunshine there.

What are you grateful for?

Wordless Wednesday

Sloth

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What color is Tuesday?

This was something I wrote a couple years back for a different (now dead) blog I tried. It still applies to my family today.

Boo asked that not too long ago. And, you know, it was a cute question I was getting ready to enjoy. But Roo, the literal older brother said, “Tuesday is not a color.” He said it with so much authority that of course Boo just said, “Oh.” That sad little “Oh.” that people say when they get the wind knocked out of their sails.

Now Roo got a healthy dose of tolerance when it came to his wild and childish ideas and inventions during his wee years, so I don’t know why he doesn’t want to extend that grace to his younger brother very often. Could be that first child syndrome. Could be he takes after his legalistic mother who had to work very hard to say, “Wow! Look at the purple trees. Of course your trees can be purple. They can be any color you want.” So I was quick to come to Boo’s rescue and say, “Well, gee, maybe Tuesday can have a color. What color do you think Tuesday is?”

I have found out that Boo associates senses with objects and facts in a way that I don’t and it only shows me that he is a creative child whose drummer is totally out of step with mine. He challenges me to think differently. He doesn’t think outside the box, he doesn’t come from a different planet, he thinks in a whole ‘nother space time continuum.

Chris Rice is a popular Christian musician/singer/composer. He sings the song Smell the Color 9. Somewhere toward the end of the lyrics it asks how can you smell a color, and by the way, nine isn’t a color… The first time Roo heard this song he was frustrated all the way through. “Mom!!!! Nine is not a color. You can’t smell colors!!!” He said this repeatedly with increasing frustration until the end of the song where the lyrics say “Nine’s not a color...and even if it was you can’t smell a color, no…That’s my point exactly!” “Mom!!! I don’t get it!!!”

Now Chris Rice is talking about understanding God. Something we all deal with in our own way. But he really thinks and writes so uniquely. This got me wondering…Do other people besides this singer and my son live their lives in this way. Apparently so.

Synesthesia. Joined senses.

syn-es-the-sia also syn-aes-the-sia n. 1) A condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color. 2) A sensation felt in one part of the body as a result of stimulus applied to another, as in referred pain. 3) The description of one kind of sense impression by using words that normally describe another.

I was surprised to learn this is a real condition (I know probably everyone else knows about it, but it was news to me!). It involves assigning one or more of the senses to numbers, letters, days of the week, shapes, sounds—the list goes on. I don’t know if Chris Rice has this, if he does, that’s cool. But what is most important to me is that from something he wrote and then something my child said, something clicked in me and made me dig a little deeper and find a facet of my ds that I didn’t know about.

I think this might be just as important for me to know about him as what “type” of learner he is, whether or not he is a morning or night person—all of those things that make our children unique. Those things we try to know to have a way to custom tailor their education to them. What am I doing with this information? I guess not a whole lot now, but every now and then when I get particularly frustrated with Boo’s gaze into another world while we are supposed to be doing something, hopefully I will check myself. When he says something somewhat off the wall hopefully I will remember not to doubt him, laugh at him or correct him to my vision, but support him. The boys have proven more than once they notice things I don’t. They are still fresh and don’t tune out all the cool stuff in the back yard. They see fun stuff when we drive and all I see is the traffic to get through. They see each day as a new frontier when I see a to do list.

From what little I have learned it is not really that unusual in children. But they can over time unlearn it or perhaps they just learn to not share it or ignore it. I truly hope that Boo continues to experience things with as many senses as possible. I would hate to see this gift wasted. I would really hate to be the cause of this gift wasted.

Postscript: Several months after I wrote this, I shared the thought with my husband. Never assume you know everything about your spouse. He looked at me and said, "Well, yeah...I've always thought that way too." Oh. See how little I know. This has become somewhat of a "game" for my family when we are driving. Roo and I have to work at it. My husband and Boo don't even pause at the questions.


Interestingly, I found this little quiz a few days back and that is what reminded me of this post. Just for fun:

50%

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