The fifty yards of tulle has left the building.

A young dancer friend, a budding choreographer, was promised access to a professional company's costume shop and then in the eleventh hour that was changed and he was left with a lovely piece of choreography and no costumes. Two tulle skirts and some dyeing of leotards and tights later, I am grateful I had the chance to be of help. It was fun to play with the fluffy stuff, but I need to get back on the track of Spring Cleaning. I am grateful to be done, as well.

The boys have been pretty good about keeping their rooms in good shape. That was where the cleaning began. The younger is a minimalist and so that takes him very little time. The oldest reminds me of....well, me at that age and if I look at it in that context, his room is awesome. It still may teeter precariously on the fire code's desire for clear exits, but it's not bad, I guess.

We are coming to the realization that the oldest will most likely be leaving us in the fall. He is definitely leaving for part of the summer, but it looks like he may have a chance at a boarding situation to pursue his dream. We are focusing on getting him prepared to be a little more responsible and able to feed himself, make healthy decisions, maintain clothing and necessities.

He's also earned a learner's permit for driving and we are dealing with that. I am grateful my husband has taken that teaching hat for the beginning portion. I'm sure I would be able to do it, but I'm a bit more reactive and emotional. And...nervous. Yes, I admit, I am a Nervous Nellie. Once he gets going I will be fine (relatively) in the passenger's seat, but it's better I don't sit there for a while.

Random occurrences, thoughts and observances:

I scored some drapes for the dining room at my favorite thrift store!!

I've had a lot more scrutiny than usual on the homeschool aspect of our lives.

I have a lot of stuff...Moving has always been good for getting rid of stuff, it's just that we stayed in the last place nearly ten years. So, I'm wondering if I can get rid of some more stuff without moving to help...I guess that means I'm pondering a garage sale...sigh...

Many thoughts about what "acting one's age" means to me. As I near the half-century mark I'm looking forward and backwards quite a bit. Asking myself how the road led here and where does it turn over the next hill.

It smells like Spring outside.

Counting it all joy,

Julie

Notes from the Sofa--Thank God for Sticky Shoes

Finished up Week 8 of our homeschool adventure this school year.

Week 8 was not the high point of this adventure.

I'm just saying.

Let's be real. Some days just aren't bouncy, happy, everything-is-fine days. Some weeks are better than others.

This last one wasn't.

In my quest to be a good (homeschool/ballet/music/fun/gamer) mom, I try to share the victories with my friends and family. Victories are fun. I would hate to scare someone off who is considering homeschooling. It is a wonderful experience. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So if you are new to this blog, considering homeschooling, why don't you go visit some of the wonderful blogs listed on my sidebar? Many are homeschoolers, and if they're not, they are lovely people who will share wonderful cheerful thoughts about life and you will feel great about reading their posts.

What? You're still here...okay...warned.

But there are moments. Moments when I would like to push "Reset" for. So this post will be honest, transparent and offer full disclosure--okay, maybe not full, but partial disclosure...weeellllll maybe just enough disclosure that a couple people might read this blog again. What I am saying is that I will more transparent than the current administration--not hard. Yes, I'm in a mood.

Week 8 started off alright. The boys actually did some work in the car because we were traveling home on Labor Day. Boo wanted to know why he had to labor on Labor Day. I offered to let him off the hook and do it all on Tuesday, and, just wondering, what better was he going to do on a four hour car ride, anyway? He chose my way...good boy.

Boo is reading Finding Out About Everyday Things--an older Usborne book. It is more about the way thing used to work, but I think that helps to know how things have been and shows the advances in technology. He also finished Henry Huggins and is reading Elmer and the Dragon, the second book in the My Father's Dragon series by Ruth Stiles Gannett. He's enjoying it and it would be a great read for other readers from third to sixth grade.

Roo and I had an hour long discussion of slavery and the Civil War during that ride. Poor child was a captive audience. I usually don't go into lecture mode. But it was just something I was passionate about. He still loves me and promises to listen in the future.

Tuesday saw a pretty productive day, Roo had a three hour rehearsal thrown in at the end. Getting home after 8:30 was kind of a bummer for both of us. But all in all, it was a good day.

Wednesday included reading, as always. Roo is working his way through The Way Things Work. I was fortunate enough to pick up our copy at The Half Price Book Store for $1!! Roo has enjoyed the section on levers and has increased my knowledge by sharing all he has learned about levers. Fascinating stuff!! I love all these pieces of knowledge that they are thrilled about and want to share.

But Wednesday is where the slope started getting slippery. Boo woke up saying he felt bad and could he just sleep? I wish I could tell you my motherly instinct saw his discomfort and that I cossetted him and pampered him. But...she says hanging her head in shame...I cajoled him and tried to get him to pony up and do some work. No, I did not check his temperature...no, I did not do any of the good momma stuff I should have. Until later when I realized he had a fever. Ugh...now we both felt bad--he felt sick and I felt like a toad.

Wednesday was also the most miserable night the four and a half hour night at ballet for Roo--the first official night of the ballet school year. And Roo had no intention of missing that. In fact Boo thought he could make it to that. Hello?? Temperature?? Chills?? I may have been dense for a while, but once I catch on, I know what the right answer is.

Thankfully my hubby works from home and Boo was by then positioned on the sofa with an I Love Lucy episode and pillow and blanket. So Roo and I hauled down the road to ballet with our carpool kids. Where he worked hard and I sat and stewed about what a terrible parent I am.

We got home after 9:30. Ugh.

Thursday was an independent work day for Roo, because Boo and I sat for two hours in the doctors office for less than five minutes of face time so the doctor could confirm the diagnosis I was already convinced of--Strep.

Then it was a race home to drop Boo off with Daddy and Roo so I could run to the pharmacy (the wait for filled Rx's was over an hour). I dropped the prescription off, ran home ate lunch between 2:35 and 2:40, put make-up on (because I had not had a chance earlier) made the most excellent cup of coffee I have made in a long time, drank half of it...and proceeded to baptize the table (with all Roo's school work), the floor (the dog won't lick up coffee-drat), my favorite pair of shoes, my shirt, a calculator and a fabric pencil case with the rest.

My favorite shoes. It was almost too much. I went sticky-sticky-sticky all the way from the parking lot to the pharmacy counter and sticky-sticky-sticky all the way back. My husband tried to clean them up for me...but all night, I kept smelling Eau de café--wait--that was me.

Boo had another night at home, much to his dismay. Roo and I rushed to pick up the girls and made it to the studio on time. I got to sit with my favorite group of moms and another mom joined us. I've always enjoyed talking to her. She's another homeschooler, but her child is older and in advanced levels. She's got a lot of good insights, she's witty, smart and open. She chose to ask me, "If you sent your child to a public school and they got a bad education, you could always blame their teachers. Aren't you ever afraid that some day they're going to decide you missed something--and it will be all your fault?"

Gulp...

Well...honestly, yes, but today I still feel like a toad and I don't want to think about THAT! Yikes!

Truly, I enjoyed her company and hope we can talk again. Just maybe when I'm not feeling warty and all. Ya know?

Today, Boo is bouncing around the house. Much improved. Medicine-a-phobic that I am, I know that sometimes a good antibiotic is the only answer. I am grateful for both my boys who love me despite my warts. My husband who for some unknown reason still loves me and is home most days, and all the blessings we have.

Today, I am grateful that I started school early because if this had been my first week of getting back to school with the boys I would have melted into a pile of goo.

Today I am grateful for doctors.

Today, I am grateful I got to half half of the best cup of coffee I've made in a long time...it was better than none at all.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for sticky shoes and cluttered houses and unfinished work. I thank you for people who aren't afraid to admit to having weaknesses and help me to admit I'm not perfect either.

God of spilled coffee, red lights, long car rides, infections, old cats, hairy dogs, sunshine and rain, rushing and rest, LORD of unfathomable heaven and messy, dirty earth, I thank you for this week. I thank you for my family and friends, I thank you for holding us up when we are tired and holding our children when they are sick and their parents are slow to catch on.

Help me keep my focus on you. Help me to see my little inconveniences for just that and to laugh at the bumps in the road. Make me stronger for the truly difficult times and always let me feel Your Presence. Amen.

Counting it all joy,

Julie

Above sofa found here.

Why We Homeschool the Way We Do--

Journey and Curriculum Choices
A Meandering and Musing

Part Four—what you would see at our house these days.
(Part One, Part Two, Part Three)
Today…Boo can read quite well. He is pleased when he does his math worksheet. But it can’t be long and repetitive. And it doesn’t need to be. For him.

Roo is five years away from fourteen but I don’t think he’ll be heading to college anytime soon.

If you looked at our day you would see we are at the same time very musically and artistically oriented and very technology oriented. We love reading and own lots of books. Our boys play the piano, they dance, they write their own stories by hand and on the computer, they create art, both techno art and traditional. They use the computer for learning and fun. And sometimes when they have fun they are learning.

As mentioned we’ve added what some see as an unusual choice for an extra curricular—ballet. Roo showed a desire and facility early on and we were fortunate to have access to an exceptional school for ballet. Boo, in traditional Boo form, declared he was having none of THAT. Which was fine with us. But after watching Roo during watch week and meeting the teacher, who may qualify for the sweetest young woman in the world (oh, and she’s a beautiful ballerina) Boo insisted at the last minute he WAS going to dance. Okeedoke.

My approach would be best described as relaxed an eclectic these days. I would love to totally unschool, but don’t see us as having enough drive to arrive at our goals. So we vary what we do. Right now we have a flexible schedule, we may do a unit study in few months and take a break and unschool for awhile after.

Because piano and dance take up a lot of our time I’ve made our schedule around those things for now. Piano is done totally at home so there is no down time or driving time. But we spend a lot of time on the piano. A lot.

Reading is important to me. We read every day Monday through Friday. We read aloud, we do Silent Sustained Reading, we read what is on our lists and things that happen to catch our attention. We have this new basketball class and it is on a dance day so we are out of the house for a long time that day. We still fit reading in. Piano takes a day off that day.

Workbooks are done for a very short time three days a week. I have a large collection and they cover a wide selection of studies. Boo has just a couple he works on. Roo has a different set for each of the three days. Each set has some form of math, some form of English and language arts a dab of history and a little science. These subjects are addressed in his reading time also. The workbooks are a nod to the yardstick traditionalists measure by. It is not a bad thing to measure. But I will not teach to a test or standard that is not ours.

I also believe we are, as a country, sleep deprived. DarlingCaveGeek and I also have strangely wired body clocks that function well later in the day. Did the boys acquire our habits genetically or just by association? I am not sure, but unless there is a pressing reason for rising early Roo and Boo are allowed to sleep until they are no longer tired. Now we do have the occasional bug run through the house, but I do believe that bodies not sleep deprived can fight off illness more effectively and much faster. And so far the theory seems to work for us. So you won’t see us shiny and scrubbed at the table at 7:30, chores done and doing our devotional. We sort of ease into our day.

We school using the computer, occasional field trips, using videos and television. For the first time in our journey we’ve joined a relaxed group of homeschoolers for our P.E. We are starting to school at the grocery store. I’m not counting that so much in the record-keeping, but it does become a natural progression. And time needs to be allowed for it. With some apprehension, I see that schooling is taking place in the car. It’s not the geography/map reading skills that worry me. It’s the, “Now when I start driving…” questions. But, hey! At least they are asking. And they are becoming quite the proficient backseat drivers.

What was my goal in writing this long, long, piece on our school and my philosophy? I think I have arrived at the belief that every parent should choose the best for their child within the framework of what is feasible in their lives. Not every one should homeschool. Homeschool may only last a season for some. Everyone who homeschools has a right to school the way they feel led to that is best for their children. It will not always look the same. Before someone accuses someone else of not “doing it right” the fruit of the family should be examined. I do not advocate abuse, but that is the exception, not the rule. That should never happen, but sadly it does.

I think for the most part we are over-legislated and people are trained to let others think for them. Many people really do believe that the school system today is what has always been in place. And it hasn’t and it isn’t perfect. But I know many beautiful teachers who do the best they can. And for some children it is a safer haven than home. That is sad.

My goal is to encourage people to pray, research and explore options for their families. To share resources and not judge but build up other families in their choices. To pray if you think someone could do better, offer only options and leave it be at that. I think school should be a joy. I think learning should be a joy and a delight and never end as we travel through this amazing world the Creator has graced us with.

Done now.

Why We Homeschool the Way We Do--

Journey and Curriculum Choices
A Meandering and Musing

Part Three—In Practice
(Part One & Part Two)

We homeschooled even though I was working nights, which I did on and off for almost three years. I will tell you it can be done. At what cost to health and relationships I don’t know. But it was that important to us. There was no option. And the boys were little, so the amount of paper work didn’t need to be huge.

Those were our “desert years.” I felt often like the Children of Israel wandering…but those are different stories. Let me say, I never felt God was far, I felt we were learning and growing and we never saw an option not to homeschool. God is good.

Thankfully I have been home for the last year and a half. I have seen the world through less than bleary eyes.

It is apparent Roo adapts to structure more than Boo. He likes a yardstick to be measured by. Now saying that, he still likes the ability to bunny trail at his whim. So we have come up with the things I am sure he cannot live without doing, many books to read, workbooks to use. Then I have boxes checked for “them” –you know, those people who might come and check up on us, whoever they are.

It also includes a lot of piano. Which he has both facility and desire to do. And then the rest of the time he explores his interests. He isn’t completely following things through to a conclusion yet, but at nine I don’t know that he needs to. He will wander away from things for a while, seemingly done with something, and then come back with renewed ideas and he has time to grow and pursue and be creative.

Boo is my “fence-rattler,” button pusher, limit tester child. “I just want to be a little boy, Mom.” Peter Pan in the making. Because of Boo, I delved into unschooling. I stepped back and let him do it his way. He decided to watch movies with sub-titles. He told me he was learning to read. He played games and didn’t want help with the dice, pieces or cards. He could do it himself. And, to my surprise, he managed. But sit him down at a table with a pencil and try handwriting? Well…see HERE. Give him math worksheet. He would rather sit and stare at the wall.

Now some would say he needed discipline. We have never shied away from discipline. But after so much of it and he still was resolute, I began to worry I was losing my son’s heart. And I think I was. After having been gone physically at night for so long and only being present in a barely functioning body during those days, and then arguing with how God created him, I was losing him. So I really did back off. And spent a lot of time learning about Grace Based Parenting and Attachment Parenting, which I was already practicing at some level.

I needed to work on balance.

Part Four

Why We Homeschool the Way We Do

Journey and Curriculum Choices
A Four Part Meandering & Musing

Part Two—Research and Beginning
(Part One)

Reading everything I could get my hands on.

About the time Roo was one I knew I must get moving on this homeschooling thing. I was certain my child was a genius and needed to be reading by three. I knew that unless I produced nothing short of a 14 year-old Ph.D. I would be a laughing stock and “they” would take my children away. You know “they” & “them,” the people we worry about for most often no reason.

So I went online, requested every catalog I found and read every article online. Eight years ago the web was not what it is today and I was even more lame with techno stuff than I am now. Hard to fathom.

This is where Sonlight came in. I got their catalog and I was hooked. It is a very different catalog than they have today. I still have it and what hooked me was their mission statement. My sister was so impressed she took it to our church and presented it to the board (of which she was a member.) She also became convicted to homeschool her children.

I planned our Sonlight journey. I planned us all the way to high school. Money was tight and I was trying to figure how I was going to buy a “Core” from them. When Roo was four I found their forum and gleaned wisdom from these goddesses of homeschool, these mothers who had gone before me and were willing to share. I learned to lurk.

I bought my first Sonlight Core. It was the Kindergarten Core. And while it was beautiful and slick and organized—I was overwhelmed. But I pressed on. I knew my darling children (by then Boo was a little more than one) would need MORE than the basics. So I added to the load. I pushed forward and I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I think, no I know, I pushed to hard with Roo. Thankfully he was eager to please. We were all about drowning. Sonlight, while a great company with great product and it meets the needs of so many was not a good fit for our family. I really didn’t know what to do.

Then I met Elijah Company—oddly enough from a post a mom made on the SL forum (the old days forum, for those familiar with the new). I got their catalog. I devoured everything Chris and Ellen Davis put into that catalog. They ministered to me and I soaked up all that they had to offer.

I learned about Classical learning, unschooling, text book learning unit studies, delight led learning, many different personal learning styles, . I learned there were so many curriculums out there and if I bought them, they shouldn’t dictate to me, they should be a tool to make my life easier. And easy was the only way it was going to work.

I became more confident and developed "my own curriculum" based on our needs, which was mostly picking and choosing from several sources, and which included a severly limited budget. I learned about writing Mission Statements for our personal homeschool. I’d recommend that everyone should have one as a work in progress, not so much to haul out and show everyone, but more to have as a working guide to think about and measure your family’s goals. It should be flexible and grow with your family. I spent time reading and trying to pick anyone's mind that I could to gain wisdom and knowledge. The boys were still small and I am so thankful we started early because it has been a constant work in progress and still is.

Little Roo was still trying to please Mommy, who hadn't learned to relax or back off at all. Baby Boo was coming into his own very unique and strong personality.

With many job changes, moves and thin times we never quit homeschooling, although many times it would have been much easier. We kept marching on.

Part Three
Part Four

Why We Homeschool the Way We Do

Our Journey and Curriculum Choices
A Four Part Meandering & Musing

Part One the Instigators

The best thing about homeschooling is that each family should look a bit different. It is not a one size fits all proposition, although many will tell you otherwise.

I shared awhile back about why we homeschool, I thought I would add a bit and share how we got started homeschooling and how we homeschool. You would think to hear me talk that I have been doing it a long time and am an expert. I have been homeschooling for a long time because, as I’ve said it was on our hearts to teach our children at home before they were born. So that puts me at a little over nine years. Not claiming expert status, though. Just opinionated.

How did that happen? We had every intention of me going back to work after I had our baby. The only homeschoolers I knew of were from someone who knew someone and had an awful tale to tell. Why would I venture down that odd road?

I was working in an ophthalmology office and when I was pregnant with Roo I was introduced to two very different homeschool families. The first was a large family and the mother had need of the doctor I worked for.

When you work in a doctor’s office and you see a large family come in with many young, very young children you get a little nervous. But these children were so well behaved, not automatons, not Stepford children, but really sweet with great smiles.

Well the doctor I worked for was a chatter and she gave each patient a lot of time (which is a good thing if you are getting her attention but if you are the one waiting…not so much). I had taken the mom back to a room with her children and Doctor was running behind and I shut the exam door behind me wondering when the shrieking would start. But it never did. What started was the sweetest singing. So foreign to me to have children like this. I didn’t learn much about homeschooling from them, but it planted a seed. And I saw that children could be happy with little more than their mother and siblings to entertain them.

The second family was smaller—just two boys, I believe, one who came in because he was hit in the eye with a homemade arrow. I won’t let you fuss and wonder—it all turned out well, his eye ended up fine. But of course during a weekday when you have a child come in, hit with a homemade arrow by his brother, you start to ask questions. Like was school out that day? No. What where you doing? Well the arrow WAS part of school. Shooting each other had NOT been in Mom’s plan, but good trouper and boys’ mom that she was she was answering questions to a naïve and pregnant mommy-to-be about the joys of homeschooling, unit studies and all the while patiently waiting for the doctor to finish treating her son. The son was an adorable boy, well behaved for everything he went through. Well spoken and everything I wanted my not-born-baby to grow up to be.

I was hooked. How was I going to get my children to turn out that way? Who did I think I was, presuming I could teach my children anything more than how to tie their shoes and get past sippy-cups?

Research was in order.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

The Oft Asked Question

Why do you homeschool? I am asked this on a regular basis. I have given many answers. Some of them include:

We felt led to homeschool before school was an issue. We knew when they were born that it was an option we craved. We prayed about it and have felt led to do so. As they’ve grown we see we want to be our children’s teacher. It feels like we are separated in so many things, i.e. children here, adults there, men here, women there—we like the fact homeschooling keeps us together as much as possible.

As we’ve grown in our journey we’ve seen we are able to teach to the boys’ strengths, build up confidence in weaker areas, and move at appropriate times for them. It appears both sons may have been poor candidates for sitting quietly at a desk and standing in line a lot. They can focus when something has their attention, but need outlets and release times to have physical play in between.

Socialization is important to us—we want to be in charge of that too. We don’t want a false sense that 30 of their closest age-mates have a better understanding of the world around them than we do. We would like them to be able to talk to people of any age with courtesy, respect and hopefully interest. Exciting it has been to see this work out. My sons have shown enthusiasm meeting a 5 month old baby and seniors of various stages of health. The side affect of this is that they don’t realize some grown-ups are not well socialized and find it very disconcerting to be spoken to by a child who does not see them as automatic authority figures, who is not intimidated by their size, and who truly feels their equal and competent to engage in conversation beyond name, age and favorite movie. My experience with homeschooled children is most often the child is able to look me straight in the eye, speak of their interests with confidence and detail and be interested in what I have to say. I am sure that is not 100% the case, but it has been my fortunate experience.

A side benefit is that we’ve not had piles of homework after activities and been able to adjust our schedule due to the previous day’s demands or health issues. Mean mommy that I am, reading rarely gets left undone even on “sick” days, LOL. If they feel well enough to watch the tube, they certainly won’t be strained reading a book.

Speaking of “sick days”…We are on round three, maybe four of “the creeping crud” aka the respiratory viral junk that has plagued us for a while. Just when we start to improve it mutates. Ugh…well since I have claimed “relaxed and eclectic” status for a long time now it has helped me not feel as stressed if we sleep a bit later and are working up until supper (we break a lot), but part of me would like to rise earlier and finish earlier. Part of me still insists that we should join the more “organized” camp and roll out at 7 and be done be 1 or 2. I am sure that would involve going to bed earlier…me included. Hmmmmmmm……..well maybe something to ponder after we are feeling a bit better.

Yesterday’s joy was listening to Roo’s piano playing. That 9 year old fingers can manipulate the keyboard with such mastery often leaves a tear in my eye and my jaw on the floor. Walking Boo through his lesson time reaffirmed my belief that he will be no less amazing. He will play differently, it is obvious, but he will move me too, in fact he already does.

For today’s journey:

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”


Refrain
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Refrain
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

Refrain
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
ilt be with me to the end.

Refrain
Words by Louisa M.R. Stead & Music by William J. Kirkpatrick