20 Years of Medical Practice Affects My Navel Gazing

So I went to see a new doctor (an internist); because, after two visits in July and August with complaints about my knee, specifically, combined with other joint pain and a overall sense of unwellness, the old doc told me, "As we age it just takes more time to heal. Let me know if it gets worse"

Which was doctor speak for, "It's in your head, get over it." And, just like that, she was out the door before I could ask questions. And, "Oh, by the way, let's just do everything via e-mail from now on." As in "We don't want to hear your voice on the phone because we are too busy to talk to you."

Luckily (and only 6 months later!), the orthopedic I took myself to did NOT think I was crazy. Of course he had the MRI and x-rays to consult. I learned a lot, but he is an orthopedic--and a resident to boot, so I likely will not be able to return to him, so I went searching for a new doctor.

There was the FP doctor I had seen at the practice my husband is/was using (another story for another day) and he also DID NOT think I was crazy. I would have gone back to him, but since my husband was struggling with the front office staff (the wife of the doctor who owns the practice), I decided to strike out for different pastures.

The new doctor, a woman, has a bio that lists her time prior to practice as a pharmacist. I am always concerned about drug interaction and the affects of meds on my blood sugar. I have a handful of issues that are starting to add up and I want someone to direct my medical care besides...well...me. This was going to be awesome.

Well...Dear Doctor-lady took one look at me and decided I was Holly Homemaker with nary a brain in my head. She ignored what I perceived to be my problems and gave me her best advice..."Watch Dr. Oz while you are ironing. He's got good advice for diets."

Really? Twenty years and that's whatcha got, lady?

Actually I did not say that.

I was in such shock, I just dumbly and numbly looked at her and let the rest of the whole five minutes of thorough medical care pass me by. I sat for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time waiting for lab work and then was shown the door.

Come back in a month.

I made it to the parking lot before crying. I sat there and just sobbed.

Her medical assumption of my person doesn't line up with my perception of myself. I've always seen myself as knowledgeable, and well-spoken. But maybe I am what she saw. I've been mulling that over. I know I don't look like a career woman, but really, do I look like, well...what do I look like?

So, anyhoo...I've been trying to decide what to do about her and trying to decide what to do about me. This should not be so traumatic, but it is. Part of it is facing my age and the fact that I will not be returning to 20, 25, 30 or even 40 anytime soon. OK...never. Even if I can get back in shape. It will be shape housed in a mature home.

And what do I think of myself? Can I allow fifteen minutes with a stranger to redefine who I think I am?

I've spent the last eighteen months dealing with several issues: family, health, spiritual, relationships, that have shaken me to my foundation. I finally thought I had regained my identity. And now this.

I am proud to be a homeschool mom and all that entails. I spend an inordinate amount of time chauffeuring, scheduling, meal-planning...blah, blah, blah. I am glad I am available to help other people (not my children) in my life that need me. I recently helped a friend proof-read parts of her book. The CEO of a non-profit organization asked for a few hours of my time to get input into the issues concerning their school (people like that usually don't bother with unintelligent people, do they? I don't have any money, so that's not the reason for the time). I play a stupid video game, I read, I explore many crafting options. But I don't watch television much and I DON'T IRON!!!!

Last night was the first night since the appointment that I did not dream about the whole doctor's visit. This was the first morning I got through without tearing up.

Obviously, I've allowed this to balloon into more than it should be. And so I am spewing it out to the internet. Maybe that will shake the blues that settled on my shoulders off.

Moving on...

Lost for Words

When I was a child I read the dictionary. For fun. I read the phone book, too. Yeah...I was that kind of kid.

But the upside of my wild youth was that, as an adult, I used to be the person everyone would ask for a definition, a better word choice, an idea for how to "say things." And then I met menopause.

Besides the delight of hot-flashes, mood-swings to top any I had ever had before and sleeplessness, besides all of that, I lost my words. The boys will ask me a question and I know the answer. It just gets stuck between my brain and my mouth. For the first time in my life I am at a loss for words. (My husband is a bit surprised by this.)

So, that is why it took me until January 9th to write my first blog post of the year. I was searching for my words. Or rather, searching for the word.

I'm not sure when it became the popular thing to do to have a word to sum up what one wanted for the upcoming year, but I know it was going on when I started this blog and the word I picked was "JOY."

"JOY" is a wonderful word and I am not giving it up. 2010 and 2011 were years to test my resolve for "joy in all things." I lost the battle more than a few times. 2012 definitely needs me to focus on joy, but I felt I needed another word to restart myself on a better path than the one I was on.

So, for me, 2012 is going to be a year of "RESPONSE." That took a lot of work to find that particular word. Not an unusual word or an especially creative word. But I have so many ideas of what I want to happen this year. And I felt the need to sum it up in one word.

I finally realized that if we are to be God's children, we are called to respond. To everything. Every person, every situation, every moment of the day we are called to respond to HIM. When we do nothing, it is a response. When we throw our hearts into something, it is a response. The half-way answer, the luke-warm gesture...also a response.

My ponderings the last few days on this word have led me many directions. My hope is that I can, again, come back to "blog-land", and work out my day to day living in words. We shall see.

I've missed my blogging friends. I've burrowed down a hole for a while. Forgive me for my lack of presence. Many blogging friends have been on my heart and in my prayers quite often, but I couldn't find it in myself to surface and say so very often. For that I am sorry. I hope I can retrace my steps and get back to where I was.

2012...Let's see what your response is.

Prayer Request

If you are so inclined to scroll down a bit and on my sidebar view my Twitterings...

Or click. I would be most grateful.

The end of the world, it certainly is not, but I am ill prepared for growing children.

Not Enough Coffee Today

Up until 2:30, last peeked at the clock at 3 a.m. There is not enough coffee in the world, right now. But I am also not foolish enough to drink more than my usual morning jolt, lest I repeat the scenario again tonight; switching to tea, shortly.

In the absence of brain cells, but in trying to get back in the posting habit I give you the two big questions on my mind at the moment:

What Kind of Coffee am I???

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

Yeah, I am plain...my husband will attest to the fact I am much more low maintenance than my friends. Not that I don't offer my share of quirks and complications, but he says he'll keep me.

Question 2: Where is the perfect shade of green?

A few days ago I was on the knitting path trying to find the perfect shade of green for a scarf. What do you mean, "Did I bring a color swatch?" That takes the challenge out of it. How many shades of green could there be? Well...this and that take a stab at the answer...sigh...Yes, I am getting that swatch.

You Are Mint Green

Balanced and calm, you have mastered the philosophy of living well. Your friends seek you out for support, and you are able to bring stability to chaotic situations. You're very open and cheerful - and you feel like you have a lot of freedom in life. Your future may hold any number of exciting things, and you're ready for all of them!

What Color Green Are You?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

Mint? Really? I was thinking Basil or Sage, maybe Oregano...hmmmmmm...mint...This is like the Purple question.

The Trouble with Tribbles...

Space: The final frontier
These are the voyages of the Starship, Enterprise
Its 5 year mission
To explore strange new worlds
To seek out new life and new civilizations
To boldly go where no man has gone before...

Cue the Star Trek music...

The Trouble with Tribbles
Episode Summary

Kirk must defuse a Klingon scheme to destroy a grain shipment...and cope with a seemingly benign creature known as a tribble, which reproduces at amazing speed.

Well, space is the final frontier at my house. Making space, creating space, finding space...daily goals of mine.

When we moved into this tiny duplex, it was with the largest U-haul truck and our mini-van. Our living room furniture was a futon and when company came we set out lawn furniture. Yep, really.

So what does that have to do with Star Trek? And tribbles?

Well, there is a law, kind of like the law of gravity or Murphy's law, or the law that says if you only have one pair of pantyhose it will get a run in it before you leave the house...I digress...this law says people's possessions will increase to fit their available space. I tried to Google that one, but couldn't find it exactly. But I know it's a law. I am sure.

Anyhoo...we've exceeded our "five year mission" and stuff has accumulated. And I think I mentioned once or twice or maybe a few times..."I am a packrat A-hem...crafter. And 2009 was an especially good year because I learned to knit!!!

Ahhhh...and here is when we come to the point of the knitting needle...

I have accumulated a stash!!!!

And let me tell you Space IS the final frontier and my room has become the space where no man (read my husband) wants to boldly go.


My partner-in-crime knitting mentor and I went to the yarn store recently and I was petting stroking drooling on admiring some beautiful faux fur yarn and I announced to her at the top of my lungs (she was across the store and I admit I was a wee bit wound up) "TRIBBLES!!"

Being the good friend and having the same sad background of being a Star Trek junkie, she knew immediately what I meant and we were both rolling on the floor LOLOLOL...Okay...we did manage to not really roll on the floor, but you get the idea. The salesperson helping her really did not see the humor. Sigh...

After I wiped the yarn off, I realized the price was such that, if I bought it we would not be eating anytime soon. And while that might be okay for me, my husband and children do not survive well on a steady diet of yarn. So I put it back and bid a sad farewell to the lovely skein.

I swear it purred at me.

To my delight, Hobby Lobby (my husband calls it "Rob-me Lobby") had a sale on yarn this week. Low and behold I found a furry friend for the cost of a cappuccino or mocha latte (which I no longer consume).




The lovely, little creatures jumped obediently into my cart and snuggled in the sack all the way home. They are now purring contentedly amidst the more sedate non-furry yarn awaiting my inspiration to create something with them. Or they might just be objects d'art if I fall under their charming spell and name them.

Laryngitis of the Blog

I lost my voice for a while.

No, I didn't really have laryngitis. At least not the vocal kind (although, perhaps my children wouldn't have minded a bit). I've experienced what some might call "writer's block" but it was that and more. It spilled over into a lot of daily living. The outcome was that I've not been visibly "around" much here. In all honesty, I have been on FaceBook and Twitter, but those are so different. They can consume a lot of time--but they are different.

A couple things happened. Around October I was continually getting a sense that the LORD was telling me that I needed to take a break from my blog. Really? I didn't want to hear that. And I didn't want to announce I was taking a break, because I kept thinking I would "get better" and/or I wouldn't really be able to take a break after saying I was.

One problem with naming your blog "Joyful Days" is that there is a perceived (and maybe only by me) notion that my post should/will be positive. Naming my blog "Joyful Days" however was a challenge to myself. I wanted to start finding "joy in all things" I wanted to see joy in the tiny blessings as well as in the huge miracles. I still believe joy is a choice. I've seen what happens to people who choose to be the antithesis of joy--grouchy, depressed, angry, obstinate...in a word--me.

I've been hesitant to talk about my health issues--certainly not large and devastating, more of the chronic and persistent type...just annoying really, and in the grand scheme of things, very manageable. I didn't want to talk about them much because I didn't want my blog to go that direction even though those things are very much a part of who I am. I didn't want to define myself that way then.

But I have found joy is easier when you are addressing your health issues. My diagnosis of hypothyroidism was a blessing. Depression comes in many forms. I was experiencing sometimes debilitating depression--the depression that took all the energy I had to get out of bed. That kind and other depressions that are caused by chemical imbalances are not depressions that involve choice. But after my blanket of gauze was lifted I saw patterns I had allowed to creep into my life..."Poor me, life is unfair, people are mean..." Well those things are true sometimes, but the better choice is to see the "blessed me." I know I don't deserve all of the blessings I have and I've seen most often people are so kind.

Pre-diabetes has become part of my vocabulary. And when it did I finally chose to lose weight however I could get it off without surgery or medication (other than my thyroid medication, I guess). I've been hesitant to talk about my weight loss, but last year I lost 50 lbs. I've been worried lest I say anything and every last ounce will jump back on my body. My choice of diets has been debated in "real life" and while it is a choice due to my health issues, most people don't like the idea. My choice of exercise has taken a few hits too. Those two things combined with a few others molded my health choices last year. In all likelihood, now that I am a little more comfortable with them, I can share a little more.

My blog found some new readership and I had to decide how much personal information I can allow out here--both my personal "stuff" and my children's and the stuff that belongs to others in my life. I've been hesitant to talk about anything controversial or potentially offending.

Apparently I can be controversial and offending without intending to.

I've been hesitant to post about the reality of my days lest I sound like I'm boasting or worse whining--that "joyful days" thing again.

So, what have I been up to?

Exercise and diet. The road to "healthy" has helped me choose joy.

I found myself slipping a lot in my witness. Asking myself the "What Would Jesus Do?" question more often; asking myself if my action is "Christian" helps in finding joy--it is oftentimes inconvenient and takes a little extra thought--but the reality is liberating.

One more joyful thing is that I've been sleeping more. Part of my research shows that as you age you should get a certain amount of sleep. For quite a few years I worked overnights and still came home to school the boys during the day. That kind of lifestyle catches up with one sooner or later. So four or five nights a week I am in bed before eleven, which for me is huge.

I've pushed my children in ways I said I would not. I've allowed my children things I thought I wouldn't--still surprised when I realize how culturally deficient we are--why do I feel the need to apologize for that?

Driving lots of driving

Sitting and waiting.

Knitting

School--although I daily feel inadequate, and humbled by the children God has given me.

Trying to keep clothes clean and food on the table.

Facebook, Farmville, Farm Town, and Twitter.

Hopefully hitting "Publish Post" will help me blog again. I miss my blog. I miss my bloggy friends. Maybe I can get back on track...

Count it all joy,

Julie

I Should Be Cleaning...

...but instead I'm on my computer from my still unfinished BLUE room. Love the blue!!

Waiting for my sister, nephew and niece to arrive. Let the mayhem commence.

All the cooking is outside--hamburgers on the grill, corn on the cob, veggies...plenty of food. Just nowhere to sit inside.

Anyone else want to come view the wreckage of my living room from my incomplete painting project? The canopy's up and the lawn chairs are out!

Off to find more jet fuel--ummm, I mean coffee.

Duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

You Are Chocolate

When you're stressed out, you crave intense pleasure. And you're willing to skip a proper meal and proceed directly to the food you like best. You find solace in hedonism and luxury. You tend to turn your nose up at most traditional comfort foods. Somewhat surprisingly, trying a new food (especially a new type of chocolate) can be the most comforting thing for you.

What Comfort Food Are You?

Now I don't turn my nose up at most traditional comfort foods. But I might doctor them up to suit my strange tastes.

Tell me if you play & I will come visit!!

Julie

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm.....

Really?....


ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

Well maybe...but what about this one and that one?

Are You Approachable?

No the painting's not done? Why do you ask--oh, I told you to. Well the taping and covering with plastic is started. I did 500lbs of laundry yesterday at the laundromat.

Did you know it is possible to read for two hours and not be interrupted except to move the loads from the washer to the dryer? No? I didn't either. It was a really cool experience. Except that it kept me from my plan.

The husband was home working. The boys stayed with him doing schoolwork. I went off, free as a lark to do laundry. Who knew it could be fun? Who knew?

Thanks for your prayers for Roo. He's still a little sore. We're cautiously watching. Parenting is oooooooooooooh so hard. I often question God and wonder why He trusted me with such precious gifts. I need to pray more.

So for a few minutes before I go make a terrible mess, I'll offer my odd thoughts and a quiz.

Blogthings is almost always entertaining. Often they have some quiz that hits a nerve or a funny bone. This particular one coincided with a post that has been rumbling around in my head for a while. The idea first:

I was thinking, if someone used their five senses individually how would I appear?

Touch--I feel like: a pillow for my kids

Hearing--I sound like: my mother, my sister, a broken record

Smell--I smell like: hopefully you won’t smell me unless you are very close and then it will be a little lavender and a trace of perfume

Taste--I taste like: I don’t know, but the dog licks me occasionally and so does the cat—wait, they also forage in the trash—that might not be good…bad one.

Sight--This was the sense that got me started thinking the most because...

I must look like: a store employee--people will often come up to me in a store and ask me if I know where a certain item can be found, or if I have tried Product X and did I like it, or what is my opinion on a certain item, or do I do beadwork and how would I recommend getting started?

Aisle 6, yes I like it, haven't used it, and I'd say don't start because it's addictive and there is no such thing as having enough beads. Oooops...

I obviously look like: a tall person who can reach the top shelf. This particular one blessed me because I have had people in wheelchairs and older people ask me to reach things for them. They chose me when I wasn't the only one in the aisle. That blessed me. I also had a mom who was considerably shorter than I was ask me and enjoyed helping her too. She said she thought they'd get mad if she started climbing the shelving or let her children.

And, even before children I must have looked like: a mommy, I've had lost children come up to me, one sibling approached me because her sister was stuck in the basket-type swing at a park, at my sons' activity I've helped with hair and lost items and entertainment--I used to keep a large variety of card games in my bag. This has always blessed me too, that children aren't afraid to come up to me.

And for all of my crotchety-ness I must look like: someone who will listen. People have told me startling things about their lives in what started as conversations meant to pass the time. Most recently I've heard about the loss of a parent and the loss of a son. This bothers me sometimes because I never know what the right things are to say. So I pray a lot, but never enough, I am sure.

I wondered about posting this. I was afraid it could be construed as more than it was--a look at my reflection in the mirror of others. Most often I feel like I come up lacking. More times than not I'm sure I've been a poor example of Christian love. But the times I've actually been able to provide something for someone else have always and undoubtedly blessed me more than anyone I might have helped.

Which leads to the quiz:

Are You Approachable?

You Are Very Approachable

You can talk to anyone, and it shows. People are eager to start conversations with you. You are open and friendly. You are willing to connect with almost anyone. While it's great to be approachable, there is such a thing as too approachable. Eventually someone will try to take advantage of you. Don't be afraid to say no or end an awkward conversation.

Are You Approachable?

So, are you approachable? And, if you are so inclined--how do others perceive you if they use their five senses?

Off to paint. Replacements for the dryer and washer are showing up on Saturday. Guess what I got for Christmas?

This Is the "Day of Dumb Tests!"

Forgive me for being silly. If you are feeling silly too, scroll down!

Pretty Accurate

I've seen these personality labels around and always wondered what they would say about me. Now I know. The results weren't too surprising.

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Introverted (I) 78.13% Extroverted (E) 21.88%
Intuitive (N) 58.62% Sensing (S) 41.38%
Feeling (F) 66.67% Thinking (T) 33.33%
Perceiving (P) 62.86% Judging (J) 37.14%

There are several different tests that can be found here. Let me know what you came up with & tell me if you posted results on your blog. I'll come check it out.

How Long Could You Survive Chained to a Bunk Bed with a Velociraptor?

I could survive for 51 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Prioress

You scored 5% Cardinal, 72% Monk, 53% Lady, and 41% Knight!

You are a moral person and are also highly intellectual. You like your solitude but are also kind and helpful to those around you. Guided by a belief in the goodness of mankind you will likely be christened a saint after your life is over.

You scored high as both the Lady and the Monk. You can try again to get a more precise description of either the Monk or the lady, or you can be happy that you're an individual.

Take The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test at HelloQuizzy

Which Crayola Box of Eight Colors Are You

You are most like: Black			You are bold with a dark side. You make clear lines wherever you go, though you color outside of the lines. Many people may just see the surface of you and think you are merely plain, but you have a lot of depth to you as well.			Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?			Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

Whatsoever you do to least of my brothers, that you do unto me..…

We’ve been sick. We’ve been down. We’ve been flying solo.

I am a whiner.

Families where Daddy travels, single mamas (and papas), military families have huge respect from me (and I was already respectful)!! It is sooooo tough to go it alone. When Daddy gets home we will have successfully (yes, that opinion is debatable) negotiated twenty-six days without him present. He got to come home for two days in the middle of this so it really shouldn't have been a big deal. But it was. To me. That is NOTHING people. Some families don’t see Daddy for months. Some…well…some…have it tougher.

Everything in the following list is TRIVIAL.

TRIVIAL.

Trivial.

But.

I am a whiner. Since then:

The vacuum broke—fixed that.

The storm hit—I got to take the awning and deck chairs down in the storm and later put them up so they wouldn’t mildew. Fun.

Kept the yard down to a jungle. I am so glad I only have a postage stamp. I mowed over very few things that shut down the lawn mower. Just a few. And it started back up. So, HEY!! I did good.

The garbage disposal is on the fritz!!! I cannot fix that. I will quit dumping garbage down there for two days.

There’s a dead squirrel in under the big tree in front…um…left that for Daddy or the cat. YUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!

The boys got sick with first allergies followed by secondary sinus infections. Surprise!!! Guess who got sick? While her husband was still in another time zone!!!! Guess???!!!!

And then…you know, insult and injury, and all that…I threw my BACK OUT…Remember Tim Conway??? Remember Mrs. UHWhiggens???? Ummm…that’d be me.

So much for sorting through the closets. So much for organizing the cupboards. So much for Menu Plan Monday and any blogging. I read and commented as I could. And I did a lousy job at it. Wordless Wednesday—posted in advance.

I am a rotten mommy/blogger/friend and interwebuddy. Yup…lousy. That’d be me.

My father offered to come help me. He would do that. Drive four hours and see if there was something he could do. But we were managing.

My husband offered to come home. We decided that would not be conducive to the "continuous paycheck program" thing he has going. We like the food in the cupboards and the roof over our head experience.

And my friends who have been friends for near twenty years? Yeah…busy. Really busy. If I’d been crying…they’d be here, but with no clue how to deal with children. Honestly, they have no children. One checked. She did ask. She did want to know how auditions went. (I don’t’ really know. They are in I am sure. Besides that—who knows) she was relieved when I told her the boys were doing the housework.

Relieved I tell you.

And then the momma of one of the little girls who rides with us to dance? (I could still drive—the van, she is a beautiful machine. You just step gently up, and no twisting of the body. I still drove.) She found out yesterday I had been struggling with my back. She made the boys and me dinner. And she yelled at me. YELLLED at me for not calling her. She has FIVE kiddos. And she would help me. And I am HUMBLED to tears over this. She has children with health issues, and doctors’ appointments. She made me dinner. Because I drive her daughter to dance. And my back hurt. And my husband was gone.

Well…Dinner was mahvelous, dahling. Comfort food. Blew my diet all to heck, but hey!!! I put it in the oven at 350 and guess what? 40 minutes later I am in carbohydrate heaven with minimal dishes.

My husband? On the road still. BUT!!!! Driving home. ONE DAY EARLY!!

It is the little things. It is. It is the one who you are surprised at who helps you along the path. It is the one who you should be doing something more for, who lifts YOU up.

It is two young boys who step up to the plate, helping with dishes, laundry, vacuuming and feeding the ancient cat who won’t eat the same thing from meal to meal.

It’s the lady at church who teaches your children, who tells you how great they are.

It is your husband who you can HEAR misses you and all the stupid things you do over the phone.

It is the fact that at 3 a.m. when I can't sleep, I can still know my Savior cares for me and is there.

That my friends…is why my days, no matter what are JOYFUL DAYS.

Find some joy today!!

Things I Know to Be True

There are just some things in life that are undeniable facts. Such as:

If your husband is in a different time zone your mother-in-law will certainly call. At a rather late hour.

And since you love the man so much, you will take the call because you know he is already asleep and if you don't she will proceed to call him and wake him up.

And you know that if he should choose to sleep through the call (yes, there's a lot of history in that statement), your mother-in-law would call your father. Who would then panic and call you to make sure you aren't like, you know, dead or something. (Not that I would have any experience with that happening before. Or anything. Much.)

Ahem....

Other true things:

If your husband might be in that still same different time zone, appointments you have been waiting for WILL become available. NOW. And you have to choose to take your sons with you or find a baby-sitter.

Which really doesn't help with school.

Especially since another there is another true thing:

If your husband still has his watch set for a different time than you do, at least one of your sons will have a crisis in remembering how to...oooooooooooh...say... do math, read, and get ready for bed, and possibly some other things.

This son will, however remember exactly where every button you have is, and talentedly push them.

All.

At the same time.

And you will have a meltdown of epic proportions.

And finally, a new thing I learned to be true...

If the second set of keys to your car are in another time zone. With the man you are married to, of course. You will go to Sam's Club. Get items you need. Load them in the trunk.

And then lose the car key in the five steps to the drivers seat.

Did I mention the trunk release is broken, not only in the car, but also on the key fob?

No? Well, it is.

Did I mention the key fob and the key are separated?

No? Well, they are.

These things would allow your very orderly, oldest son to try to think of two hundred ways to help. None of which are practical, but sweet, nonetheless.

It would also allow your youngest son to panic and think you might have to live in the parking lot of Sam's for, oh... say... a few weeks at least. And have to go to the bathroom. All of a sudden, like.

This would allow you to have the time to realize that if someone had left the second set of keys (which operate NOTHING in another time zone at the house, you could call a friend, have her come pick you up and go get them.

But he didn't. So you can't.

Thankfully you at least might have unlocked the car to load the trunk, using the key to open the trunk so the car alarm wouldn't go off.

This would also, thankfully, allow you NOT to have to dump the contents of your purse on the parking lot. The backseat worked much better, thank you.

And mercifully, after only ten or forty people have seen you making a spectacle of yourself, you will find the key.

And then you will realize as you drive home, you could have managed to get into the trunk via the back seat. Which apparently your sons know how to work, but failed to remember during the crisis. So you would have found the key not to be there anyway. But would have made a much more brilliant spectacle.

After getting home and unloading the contents of the car you will find the only thing that will make life better is a nap.

Those are things I know to be true.

A List...or Stream of Consciousness Writing...

Or..."Blogging through the Writer's Block."

Or...A Lot about Not Much.

There's stuff there, just not getting it together coherently. So you get...this:

The cat and the dog decided that 4:30ish was the correct time to wake "Mom" up. And when "Mom" rolled over and said, "Go away!" they both (I am not kidding) went into their preparing for puking routine. Both of them. They are a feline/canine team and they won.

That noise had me up and kicking them out into the rain. But being the softie I am (heart, not body--although that is soft too) I couldn't leave them out. And I was up and unable to go back to sleep. So at 4:48 I turned the coffee pot on.

School has been good. It is taking a lot more time this year. The boys are working hard mostly. Sometimes they work hard to see what buttons of mine they can push more, but for the most part they are doing a great job. With school, that is. Oh yeah, the buttons too.

I've had to give up on some of my more "relaxed" approaches to schooling. It was good for a time and I am an advocate of relaxed schooling. I am envious of those who do it well. But it was time for a new approach. I hope to write more about that soon.

Planning is the easy part of anything for me. Follow through tougher. And staying the course is even harder. But I'm working on that.

I thought I'd be caught up with everything after a three day weekend.

I was wrong.

I am more behind than I was before. But I spent an inordinate amount of time in my jammies. Loved that.

Weight loss and I are battling a lot these days. I'm convinced air has calories. I'm just sayin'...

Water might have calories too.

Did I mention I was up around 4:30? I will fall apart about 3:00. Sadly I won't be able to call it a day until 9:30 and then I will get a hormonal surge second wind and be up until past midnight.

And my pets will wake me up needing to go outside.

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore: When you let him in he wants to be out; He's always on the wrong side of every door, And as soon as he's at home, then he'd like to get about. --T.S. Elliot Old Possums Book of Practical Cats

The cat has gone in and out about fifty times since I was up. Okay, I'm exaggerating--he only went in and out about thirty-one times. And then he came in and puked on the carpet anyway. Of course he had eaten a whole can of food. Because it made for a more impressive mess.

He is now trying to sit on my laptop as I'm blogging.

He is very lucky he is old. Seventeen years this month, in fact. I humor him a lot because he's made it this long.

I've had a lot of ideas for posts.

Too bad I haven't put them out there.

School is taking a lot more time this year. Did I mention that? I still love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. But I think I was caught off guard.

I rarely watch television, but I've been watching the convention. That's cut into blogging. And reading what other blogs about the presidential race is cutting into my blogging.

I try to steer clear of theological and political debates on this blog. But I'm going to just throw this out there.

Sarah Palin is fabulous. I would have ended up voting for John McCain, I have an incredible amount of gratitude and respect for his heroic life, but I've not always agreed with everything, but now...I'm wound up about the race. Now I'm watching what I would have let go past before. Now I'm talking back to the television and acting all sorts of crazy. And for the record, I probably shouldn't include politics in a post with cat puke, but somehow I get the feeling Mrs. Palin has had to deal with the everyday "mom stuff." Good, bad, and gross.

But if I were her--I might have kept the chef. My family might have insisted.

Enough about issues. Let's continue with me.

Roo an I will be out of the house five days a week until mid-October. Then we will have to be out seven. Boo, thankfully only has to be out two days (he can stay with Daddy for three). When Nutcracker hits he will be out four days a week.

This is too much. I'm not sure how to do anything differently.

I was always going to be the mom who didn't drive her kids everywhere.

Guess what?

I was wrong.

The year is two-thirds of the way over. How did that happen?

Off to be responsible for a while. And find toothpicks for my eyelids. NOW I am tired. Now I could sleep. Ugh.

Hopefully something substantial will find it's way into the blog soon.

Just a Suggestion

When you have two children asking questions, a dog who wants out, a husband in the mood to chat for a moment it is NOT a good time to cut your bangs.

I'm just sayin'...

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by the Overwhelmed Mommy Association.

Meme--The ABCs of Me

I found this meme on Barbara’s Stray Thoughts and decided to borrow it. Feel free to join and let me know if you do. I’d like to see yours!

The ABCs of Me

Accent: Almost twenty years ago people used to say they thought I was from the Chicago suburbs. Now I have more of a lazy Southern-Midwest drawl.

Breakfast or no breakfast: Not often. Two mugs of coffee with creamer usually do it, although sometimes I will have some small protein.

Chore I don’t care for: You mean people like chores?

Dog or Cat: Both. One dog—Liberty (Libby) and one cat—Sidney.

Essential Electronics: My computer, my camera, my Nintendo DS Lite.

Favorite Cologne: Poison, Blue, Obsession, Opium

Gold or Silver: Silver if I have to pick—but I prefer mixed metals--brushed nickle, bronze, copper.

Handbag I carry most often: I’ve gone through a series of “cheapies.” Hopefully this fall I will find one “nice” one I love. I carried a Coach for years. I don’t like changing purses.

Insomnia: Often. Recently insomnia has been accompanied by hot flashes alternating with moments of freezing.

Job Title: Neither fish, nor fowl, nor good red herring, otherwise known as multitasking Mommy.

Kids: Two sons, Roo and Boo, ages almost 8 and nearing 11.

Living Arrangements: Duplex, Midwest suburb, Hubby works from home unless he is on the road.

Most Admirable Trait: Dogged determination.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Thinking the world revolved around me.

Overnight hospital stays: When I was born, two for C-sections and one after a car accident.

Phobias: Severely claustrophobic, mildly agoraphobic

Quote: Joy is the great note all through the Bible. We have the notion of joy that arises from good spirits or good health, but the miracle of the joy of God has nothing to do with a man’s life or his circumstances or the condition he is in. Jesus does not come to a man and say “Cheer up.” He plants within a man the miracle of the joy of God’s own nature. –Oswald Chambers

Reason to smile: This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. Lamentations 3:21-25

Siblings: One sister, four and a half years younger.

Time I wake up: Depends on how late I stay up.

Unusual Talent or Skill: Fairly crafty (although unable to master knitting) and often able to cook something if I’ve tasted it at a restaurant without a recipe—sometimes it takes a try or two.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Rutabagas

Worst Habit: Losing focus

X-rays: a few—once when I broke my elbow, once to see if I broke my back (thankfully it wasn’t), and after a car accident—of course there’ve been countless dental x-rays

Yummy Stuff: Chocolate, coffee, merlot, bread, cheesecake

Zoo Animal I Like Most: I love Okapis, followed closely by Tree Kangaroos, Red Pandas and Tapirs.

What is your alphabet meme like?