This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Friday, January 8, 2010

Laryngitis of the Blog

I lost my voice for a while.

No, I didn't really have laryngitis. At least not the vocal kind (although, perhaps my children wouldn't have minded a bit). I've experienced what some might call "writer's block" but it was that and more. It spilled over into a lot of daily living. The outcome was that I've not been visibly "around" much here. In all honesty, I have been on FaceBook and Twitter, but those are so different. They can consume a lot of time--but they are different.

A couple things happened. Around October I was continually getting a sense that the LORD was telling me that I needed to take a break from my blog. Really? I didn't want to hear that. And I didn't want to announce I was taking a break, because I kept thinking I would "get better" and/or I wouldn't really be able to take a break after saying I was.

One problem with naming your blog "Joyful Days" is that there is a perceived (and maybe only by me) notion that my post should/will be positive. Naming my blog "Joyful Days" however was a challenge to myself. I wanted to start finding "joy in all things" I wanted to see joy in the tiny blessings as well as in the huge miracles. I still believe joy is a choice. I've seen what happens to people who choose to be the antithesis of joy--grouchy, depressed, angry, a word--me.

I've been hesitant to talk about my health issues--certainly not large and devastating, more of the chronic and persistent type...just annoying really, and in the grand scheme of things, very manageable. I didn't want to talk about them much because I didn't want my blog to go that direction even though those things are very much a part of who I am. I didn't want to define myself that way then.

But I have found joy is easier when you are addressing your health issues. My diagnosis of hypothyroidism was a blessing. Depression comes in many forms. I was experiencing sometimes debilitating depression--the depression that took all the energy I had to get out of bed. That kind and other depressions that are caused by chemical imbalances are not depressions that involve choice. But after my blanket of gauze was lifted I saw patterns I had allowed to creep into my life..."Poor me, life is unfair, people are mean..." Well those things are true sometimes, but the better choice is to see the "blessed me." I know I don't deserve all of the blessings I have and I've seen most often people are so kind.

Pre-diabetes has become part of my vocabulary. And when it did I finally chose to lose weight however I could get it off without surgery or medication (other than my thyroid medication, I guess). I've been hesitant to talk about my weight loss, but last year I lost 50 lbs. I've been worried lest I say anything and every last ounce will jump back on my body. My choice of diets has been debated in "real life" and while it is a choice due to my health issues, most people don't like the idea. My choice of exercise has taken a few hits too. Those two things combined with a few others molded my health choices last year. In all likelihood, now that I am a little more comfortable with them, I can share a little more.

My blog found some new readership and I had to decide how much personal information I can allow out here--both my personal "stuff" and my children's and the stuff that belongs to others in my life. I've been hesitant to talk about anything controversial or potentially offending.

Apparently I can be controversial and offending without intending to.

I've been hesitant to post about the reality of my days lest I sound like I'm boasting or worse whining--that "joyful days" thing again.

So, what have I been up to?

Exercise and diet. The road to "healthy" has helped me choose joy.

I found myself slipping a lot in my witness. Asking myself the "What Would Jesus Do?" question more often; asking myself if my action is "Christian" helps in finding joy--it is oftentimes inconvenient and takes a little extra thought--but the reality is liberating.

One more joyful thing is that I've been sleeping more. Part of my research shows that as you age you should get a certain amount of sleep. For quite a few years I worked overnights and still came home to school the boys during the day. That kind of lifestyle catches up with one sooner or later. So four or five nights a week I am in bed before eleven, which for me is huge.

I've pushed my children in ways I said I would not. I've allowed my children things I thought I wouldn't--still surprised when I realize how culturally deficient we are--why do I feel the need to apologize for that?

Driving lots of driving

Sitting and waiting.


School--although I daily feel inadequate, and humbled by the children God has given me.

Trying to keep clothes clean and food on the table.

Facebook, Farmville, Farm Town, and Twitter.

Hopefully hitting "Publish Post" will help me blog again. I miss my blog. I miss my bloggy friends. Maybe I can get back on track...

Count it all joy,



Kelly said...

My dear , read the blog -Meditation from the Cardinal Nest - by Ruth !
At January 7 post ,you will see one amazing story about one amazing sister .She`s looking for founds to feed some hungryes childrens .
I just thinking how i can realy help !??
I pray that Joy For All will minister to it's visitors
and will encourage and bless everyone in some way.
We can identify with the disciples. At times, we have
a tendency to focus on the things that are going on around us instead of the One that is in control of all things. When that happens, reality may seem overwhelming, and the problems appear unsolvable. However, we must realize to be fearful
is to lack faith in God and in His provision for us. True faith focuses on God, not on the things that are happening.
Psalm 139:11-12
If I say, surely the darkness shall fall on me,
Even the night shall be light about me.
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide
from You, but the night shines as the day,
the darkness and the light are both
a like to You.
in Jesus love >>

DebD said...

Julie - I'm glad youv'e come back, but totally understand the need to step away for a while.

It's so funny that you talk about FB, because I have in my blog queue my thoughts about FB vs Blogging (because it seems that the bloggers I know who started FB have begun to blog less and less and less....)

Anyway... completely understand about how to share honestly without becoming a complete whiner - I'm a glass-half empty type person, so I get that. I don't want my blog to be one big grumbly post.

I'm so happy for your with the weight loss!! That is so hard to do. I've teetered on the hypothyroid scale (used to be hypo - but its a long story).

Anyway, glad to have you back. Didn't mean to post a book in your comments section ;)


gemma said...

Love You!

Kim said...

Way to go. I need to lose 50 pounds and feel paralyzed by the need. So glad to see you back--even though I do see you on facebook. ;) I pretty much just blog on my book blog now--I could not keep up with 2!

Buttercup said...

So glad to see you posting, and awed by your commitment to health. This is one of my commitments this year, too, and as a person with thyroid issues, I know how tough it can be. Somehow in the last six months, I spend some time on Farmville, too. Don't know how I got to like it so, but I'm there, too. I worry I'm there too much.

Barbara H. said...

Good to hear from you again! I loved this post title.

Congratulations on the weight loss.

Sometimes it is necessary to step away for a little while.

I know what you mean about not knowing how much to say about health issues. Some people think any mention is "complaining." I don't think that, but it is not always easy to find the balance between "keeping it real" and saying more than people want to hear.

Renee said...

You have been missed though I fully understand the need for breaks. So glad to have you back!

Renee said...

I forgot to add this in my prior note...Congrats on the weight loss and lifestyle changes! You go girl!

Joyful Days said...

Ladies, you've been so understanding and constant. Thanks for all of your kind words.

Deb, I would be interested to hear your thyroid story & didn't think your comment was a "book" although mine was.

Buttercup--still can't give up my "farms." I think it is a little escape for me from reality. I just need to limit my time there.

(()) to you all. I wish we could have coffee, tea or hot chocolate in person!