This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It Almost Always Makes Me Cry

I've been told my maternal grandfather listened to opera. Since he came to America from Italy when he was 19, he had no language barrier for a good portion of opera works. I don't remember him listening, but I must have hidden memories of it. Opera moves me in a way few other musical styles do.

Britain's Got Talent brought to light two very young, beautiful voices. The first video is Andrew Johnston, a thirteen year old. The second is twelve year old Faryl Smith. Both did me in.



Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Procrastinator or Perfectionist?

Or both? Could it really be?

I am a FlyLady flunkie.

There I said it.

My sink doesn’t sparkle so much that a warm glow emits from it. Sometimes there are even dishes in it. All day long. (gasp!!) I don’t do that “fling” thing she talks about, and I am sure my “schedule” would make her cringe.

A year or so ago I checked out the FlyLady book from the library. I got about two chapters in and got so overwhelmed I returned the book that very day.

In reality, she has some great ideas.

I do know the days I get up, get dressed and put my shoes on, I don’t sit down as much. I keep moving. That is not something I do everyday, but I do it when I have a big project that I want to finish. And it does work. Occasionally.

The FlyLady recommends putting makeup on everyday. As part of your morning routine. Well, I did start putting makeup on again, but it is more like mid-morning, when I get around to it, and maybe it might be in the afternoon before I start driving to dance. And if I know I am really not going anywhere sometimes I get rebellious and don’t put any on at all.

But one thing the FlyLady said that I could not accept was that a lot of people become procrastinators because they are perfectionists.

Bwahahahahah….ME??? Have you seen my life? My house? My projects?

Lately, though, I’m wondering. I have heard the thought elsewhere too. Could I really be a hidden perfectionist?

We school year-round here, but keep a lighter subject schedule in the summer. So as do most homeschool moms, I start planning for the next school year in late July or early August. I’ve been blessed by some awesome materials this year; curriculum I’ve been wanting to implement, but not been able to afford. I’m sorting, organizing, planning. We have some really fun opportunities this year.

I’ve always been a seat-of-the-pants, duct tape, baling wire, tar, open-minded, relaxed type homeschooler in my approach. But this year there is so much going on. And I don’t want us to miss things by inertia default. So I started planning a schedule. And as I’ve been working on it I am getting overwhelmed. What if I miss something? (I’ve never been concerned about that before.) If we do this on Thursday then we can’t fit in that. But I like that! The boys like that. Maybe something else will have to go. I want this to be just a perfect year for them. Maybe I should just ditch the whole thing…

Aha!!

Maybe I am a perfectionist. Not perfect (‘coz we know no one but the ONE is perfect) but a perfectionist. Wikipedia's Perfectionism topic gives insight; scroll down to "Negative Aspects."

I see a pattern of putting off things until they can be done right. (And we know how often that occurs.) I see distracting myself until a situation becomes urgent and then just handling it with my usual seat-of-the-pants, duct tape, baling wire, tar, open-minded, relaxed approach with a less than perfect outcome. But I don’t think I am as relaxed as I make myself out to be.

One thing that has helped me recently is the “Do it now” rule. Or do just one more thing. What I really want to do after supper is veg out in the ugly pink blogging chair for “just ten minutes.” But ten minutes melts into twenty, thirty…oh my word, is it time for bed? So I’ve been pushing myself to clean up now, and “See, that’s done. That was easy. Why don’t you throw in a quick load of laundry?”

Obviously this has kept me away from my computer and blogging, but last week was a pretty good one in accomplishments. The boys and I started school yesterday, easing back into a more rigorous routine. The next three weeks will get progressively more challenging.

I know I will never be perfect, but I am seriously working on the procrastinator situation. I really like the outcome. Maybe I will find that book again…but then again…maybe I'll wait until I'm a little closer to perfect...

Have a great day!!

Julie