Life Means So Much

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
~Chris Rice~




Psalm 90

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.

Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.

You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-

though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.

We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.

You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.

All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.

The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

The Dementor

I have met the dementor and I know his name.

It is Asthma.

His friends are known as Fear, Panic and Anxiety. Too bad this is not Hogwarts, there is no Patronus charm and all the chocolate in the world will not make it go away.

We are dealing with asthma at my house. Both of my boys were diagnosed with "exercise induced asthma" in early March. My oldest seems to be dealing with it quite well. My younger however...not so much.

When the asthma journey began with the "exercise induced" label, I thought, "Okay. Not great, but we can deal with this. We can work around it."

It seems everyone has heard of Olympic athletes with asthma. In fact somewhere between 10-20% of Olympic athletes apparently have asthma. Well who doesn't want to be compared to an Olympic athlete?? We could DO this.

As I said, my oldest set off, Albuterol in hand and his breathing during dancing improved. But the youngest...well, it seemed to work for a short time. And then the coughing and the poor coloring returned; sometimes while dancing, sometimes just randomly.

He's been through allergy testing, pulmonary function testing, doctors' visits and even an emergency room visit. At one point he had ten medications going into his small body. I've held him as he's struggled to breathe. He's cried (which seems to exacerbate the situation, but he can't stop) because his chest hurts so badly.

We've been up at all hours, missed anticipated events, struggled with bedtime, struggled with leaving the house, going back to ballet, and worst of all for me--struggled with attending church.

The learning curve for this mommy has been steep. Everyone thinks they know something about asthma--many think it is just about allergies. And sometimes for some people it is. I've had a health care professional (who we know personally) insist it is all "in his head." Really???? That was meant to be helpful?

What I have learned is that asthma is a disease. It may appear to "go away" for awhile, but it is always there lurking. Symptoms are treated, not cured, although there are some things that appear to help improve breathing and stretch out the time between episodes. Some parents have told me that at a certain age their child "outgrew" it. Although I have a friend in his 60s who never did.

Each parent I've talked to (and it's amazing how many are there that I've known for a long time but never knew their child dealt with asthma), read their blogs, or heard anecdotal stories from a "friend of a friend"--each story is different. Triggers are different, flares last different amounts of time, medications are different, intensity is different, timing is different. I'm sure there are a lot of people with similar stories, I just keep running into people with different stories.

We are piecing things together slowly for Boo. What is going to work for him. What is going to get him back to "normal." Whatever normal is. He's been very frustrated because he's been unable to participate in some things that he really wants to because of his asthma. He is working toward "ownership" of his condition and knowledge that will make him more independent.

I am trying to balance my "hovering" personality (I've often been accused of being overprotective) and being too laissez-faire with him. EVERYONE has an opinion of how I should be parenting Boo and what health care choices I should be making for him. So far, only a handful of people are okay with my choices. My doctors seem to be okay with them, so I will go with that.

As we sat together during a particularly bad time, nebulizer going, me holding on to him, wishing it was me and not him, the Harry Potter-dementor image came to me--hence the title. If you are a Harry fan and know about the dementors this video will mean something to you. Sorry I can't put in in the post, maybe it's better I couldn't--it's intense and if you don't allow Harry Potter, please don't watch. As I watched it today, it chilled me.

Sometimes it does seem there won't ever be joy again. But better than charms and chocolate, we have a Savior, who has felt every one of our pains before we did. He will get Boo through this, me through this, our family will come out on the other side. While it would be nice to have a quick fix, my faith tells me God knows best and He will not abandon us.

There have been some awful times in this little family's history. I've cried out to God many times, "Why?!" Often it is not until years later; five, ten, twenty years later that I can see a reason. So we stand in faith until that time.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Trying to count it all joy,

Julie

All Creatures of Our God and King

All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

Refrain

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in Heaven along,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou rising moon, in praise rejoice,
Ye lights of evening, find a voice!

Refrain

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
Make music for thy Lord to hear,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
That givest man both warmth and light.

Refrain

Dear mother earth, who day by day
Unfoldest blessings on our way,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
The flowers and fruits that in thee grow,
Let them His glory also show.

Refrain

And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care!

Refrain

And thou most kind and gentle Death,
Waiting to hush our latest breath,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou leadest home the child of God,
And Christ our Lord the way hath trod.

Refrain

Let all things their Creator bless,
And worship Him in humbleness,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son,
And praise the Spirit, Three in One!

Refrain

Alleluia! Alleluia!! He Is Risen, Indeed!

Arise My Love



May the joy of the Resurrection of Christ be yours today and every day.

O Beauty Ever Ancient and So New

Late have I loved you,
O Beauty ever ancient and so new,
Too late have I loved you!

You were within me, but I was outside to seek you. Unlovely myself, I fell heedlessly upon all those lovely things which you created.

And always You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you;
yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.

You called, you cried,you broke through my deafness.
You blazed, you gleamed, and you drove away my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me;
I drew in breath and now I long for you.

I have tasted, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and now I burn with desire for your peace.

Amen

~ St. Augustine, Confessions of St. Augustine

"Let Go, Julie! Just Let It Go!"

Most days this is what I see out my back door.



But one morning mid-summer, this was the view I had...through the door



and then...standing on the patio...looking at my neighbor's patio with my canopy bent and strewn about after the rains had gone.



We've lost a couple of these little canopies in the past year due to unexpected thunderstorms. At the end of last summer my impulsive husband and our dear friend hung on to one canopy during a sudden storm with winds easily topping fifty miles an hour. They saved the canopy. Scared the beejeepers out of me, but they did it.

I would never do something like that.

Or would I?



When I got up at six that day there were just a few wispy clouds to the west of us. We didn't think too much of it, even though the forecast threatened isolated thunderstorms. My ever so humble little patio looked inviting and fine. I went down to the husband's office to chat for a few minutes before I needed to do a quick change to take the boys to their day at summer intensives.

In less than thirty minutes the sky changed from overcast to green-black and the winds had picked up to at least forty mph, thunder boomed closer and closer. To quote a cliché the rain fell in sheets--it really did.

As we ran out of the house I asked if we were going to take the canopy down and my husband, already hanging on to one side of the canopy as it offered to launch to the next block said it was too late, to go in. I decided to try to hang on too. Did I really? I'm still shaking my head at that one.

We hung on and the winds blew harder, the rain fell hard and the canopy constantly tried to take flight. If I had jumped in the pool, my pajamas would not have been more soaked.

The winds accelerated and the lightning got closer.

And silly ole me hung on tighter and tighter. Willing to risk much over a replaceable canopy.

Finally I realized my husband was no longer hanging on, but shouting in my ear, "Let it go, Julie, Just let it go!" I'm a little stubborn. And didn't let go right away.

We both hung on a little longer, enough to help it bend over the fence instead of becoming the projectile it could have been. And then we dove in the house just as the worst of the storm hit. My children witnessed the whole stupid thing. And were terrified.

This was the worst of our storm damage, but up and down the block trees were stripped, a few were even snapped. Windshields were busted out and houses were damaged.

And I was willing to take a chance with wind and lightning for my canopy.

As I dried off, I pondered how symbolic that was for so many things in my life. I'd rather hold on to the unimportant things than let them go. Am I too busy cling to my chaff (collections, things, junk, opinions) and storing them in barns? Should I be more concerned with treasures that won't rust or burn away?

How often has God said, "Just let it go, Julie!" How long did I hang on?

What are you hanging onto these days? I don't recommend what I did. Really, really stupid (and I know stupid is not a nice word--but it was.) I've learned my lesson about canopies. Hopefully the bigger lesson will sink in too.

Let go,

Julie

midwest squall

high level thunder rumbles. mirrors reality on the ground. will it storm soon or be delayed? it is inevitable. the wait is is the hardest.

planting flowers in the thunder and rain was good therapy...

so grateful for the prayers. i am certainly blessed by friends.

Taking My Eyes Off the Goal

The enemy whispered and I listened and allowed myself to be deceived, distracted.

I've allowed myself to wallow in worldly matters. Matters that will be burnt up like chaff--in as little as five years I will have forgotten perceived hurts and injustices.

I've allowed myself to become over-worried about personal concerns, for myself and for family members; health, emotional, and financial. I've allowed myself to dwell in the past and in grief that should be put aside.

A long time ago someone reminded me about other worries, "It is what it is." I tell my children often, "Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. Just deal with today." Maybe I should go with that. Hmmmm...

"DIFFICULT PRESENT MOMENTS

When the Present Moment comes and gives me something very difficult to bear, I say, "This is the will of God."

Think of when Pilate told the Lord, "Don't you know I have the power to crucify you and the power to release you?" And Jesus said, "No, you would not have power over me if it had not been given to you from above" (John 19:10-11). Even at that awesome, unjust moment, Jesus saw the Father's Will and accepted it. In our daily lives we should to. "--Mother Angelica from Little Book, of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality

Photo courtesy of Public Domain Pictures/Petr Kratochvil

Spring Cleaning of the Heart

It's been very revealing.

About Lent...on the attempted journey to holiness...I never arrived. I will say that I am more aware than ever of my faults as a parent, a child, a sister, a relative, a friend, a Christian, a Cathlolic. It has been quite humbling to look in that mirror that needed desperately cleaned. Already I see the cobwebs coming back. I just wiped them off!! How quickly we allow ourselves to re-enter the world. But I will take the lessons learned and hopefully, prayerfully travel with more grace and humility.

Today, I'm rerunning an old favorite. It's been two years but it is still timely and appropriate for today--Passover. A Passover that actually falls during Holy Week.

Friday, April 6, 2007

We have walked through Scripture, we have memorized verses. This is the child that at five could stand with the pastor in front of church and give a verse for almost every letter of the alphabet. The brain is on full speed. The teaching and preaching and doctrine have been put in…but that brain works so hard and fast some days coming up with questions. He runs on full gear with other things too like computers and LEGOs and other boys stuff and science and how does that work and can I build this and…well maybe you get a glimpse of the picture. But it’s the questions about God that take my breath away, I can tell they cause him to stop and ponder deeply. There has been this sad little look in his eyes and I just want to say—“I will believe enough for both of us, until I can find the right words to make you believe!” But that is not the right answer.

About a month ago, after a long break, we started attending church again. We started attending a church that my husband and I had both grown up in, but neither son had even been exposed to. The boys wanted to go back to church. Roo has hung on every word from Scripture, every note from the sermon, he has listened and I think he is hearing God.

As a family, in addition to celebrating the Resurrection of our Savior, we have celebrated Passover for five years now. Our Passover tells two stories. The first of God’s provision to rescue the Children of Israel from Egypt, of Moses and then ten plagues. We talk of the unblemished lamb, sacrificed and the blood on the doorposts, to keep the Angel of Death from killing the first born. Our second story is of the Perfect Lamb, the Lamb without sin who shared His last Passover with his disciples and washed their feet and prayed for them and gave Himself, sacrificed Himself that we may have salvation.

This year Roo started asking more questions than the normal and usual ones. He started to ask about Jesus/Yeshua who prayed in the garden so fervently that His sweat ran like blood. He asked if it hurt when He was nailed on the cross. He asked, “Why.” And when the answer finally came to, “For everyone, for us, for you.” Roo was very, very quiet. And those very dark eyes were almost as full as mine. For, I think, at that moment it clicked. The Light of the World went on for sure and forever in that little heart. And that is the moment this momma has lived for .

Two years have past since this post. Last year on Easter Vigil my sons were Baptized, received their First Holy Communion and were Confirmed. This year we approach the Resurrection with joy and anticipation.

Praying your day is filled with the knowledge of Christ's love.

Always in Him,

Julie

Grains of Gratitude

I am grateful for some lovely weather this week. Yay!! Signs of spring are lasting longer, sinking deeper into the earth. I hope March goes out like a lamb.

I am grateful for an opportunity to be able to express my concern for someone who works with my oldest on a weekly basis. My son was hurt emotionally and I felt trust was breached. It was a question of faith and doctrine. I was able to speak my mind. I hope I wasn’t antagonistic, I prayed a lot.

Sadly I don’t feel this person’s heart was really changed, although I do see care exhibited for my son. We were promised things would not reoccur and my very easily forgiving son agreed to try the situation again. Honestly, I was not going to give it another chance, but this is part of the growing up process that I’ve been dreading. I need to allow him to grow into a young man, and if his attitude and heart are any indicator of the man to come—I am truly blessed.

This week one of my friends turned 50. She wasn’t terribly thrilled about it, you could tell. And to top it off it seemed like no one was really caring that she was turning 50—at least from her point of view. No one would agree to make plans, no one was calling…silence.

But for the last six weeks a surprise birthday party had been being organized for her. I was the foil—the one who got her headed to the party—and let me tell you, I wondered if we were going to get it done. But we did.

The disbelief, shock, amazement and then happiness on her face was really priceless. I am grateful for this friend and the 20+ years we’ve known each other. It was an interesting assortment of people from very different walks of life, come together to tell a friend, “We love you.” What a neat thing.

I am grateful to another of my friend’s mother for watching my boys for the party. The only people who babysit for us is this particular friend and she and her husband were coming to the party also. Her mom is a lovely woman and the boys have always liked to be around her. My friend’s husband relieved her early to care for their one year old and my boys so she could get some sleep because she works too. My boys got to hang out with their favorite “jungle gym” then for a while longer. They didn’t miss me at all. And this time that was okay.

There was an opportunity to get better acquainted with someone this week. That is always something to be grateful for. We were out of our normal operating setting and so some barriers were allowed to drop. You never totally know anyone, but it helps to have different perspectives to understand why someone behaves as they do. I’m certain I don’t have a full picture, but perhaps we can communicate more effectively.

My husband was away during the week. I am grateful he is home.

The trip was short, just a few days, it should have been easier than the times he’s been gone up to a month. But something just isn’t right when he is gone. There is a sense of incompleteness in the house.

For someone new here, my husband works from home. So I am blessed to have him around 24/7 most of the time. But when he is gone, he is gone and it is hard to be in touch unless he gets a break.

While he was gone I busied myself trying to have a somewhat better house for him to return to. I wanted to make sure those pesky dishes were out of the sink, the laundry was empty and the house vacuumed. I just wanted it to be nice to walk into. It wasn’t perfect, but it was not bad.

When Daddy comes home it is a big event around here. The boys are jumping on him, the dog is barking, the cat is swearing we never fed him the whole time Daddy was gone. So, unless I get there first I stand in line for a while to greet my sweetheart.

I was at the sink when he pulled in the driveway. So I slipped out of the house and got to be first in line. Life was just a little better having my husband back where he belongs.

I’ve chewed on that since he’s been home. Maybe it’s a stretch for some, but for me I saw it as a picture of how our life is with God. I think marriage and parenting are good learning tools for our relationship with God.

Something is incomplete when He is not part of our lives. We wait impatiently for the day we get to “go home.” We try to keep our abode here on earth “clean.” It is rarely close to perfect, but we keep trying.

Am I anticipating my time alone with God? Am I giving him my full attention at church, during devotions? Do my actions and attitudes tell everyone that I am His? As His bride, am I ready for His return?

I am grateful for His love and care and all the precious gifts He bestows.

Have a blessed week.

Julie

Grains of Gratitude

I am grateful for:

Children who are patient with me, who teach me daily about the forgiving love of God.

Being a parent has been a continual lesson in hearing God's voice. Sometimes I hear Him when he corrects me as I correct my children. Sometimes I hear Him when I tell my boys how much I love them, realizing God loves them and me more deeply than I can ever fathom.

Sometimes the lesson is in seeing young and fresh hearts offer forgiveness to me or to someone else who I might not be so charitable with.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

How hard my heart has become the older I get. Forgiveness and mercy don't come easily. Extending charity to someone I feel has hurt me or my family isn't something I want to do. Setting aside my feelings of entitlement is difficult. What about what I want and need? Who takes care of me?

Somehow along the path, the whispers of the world seem to settle in and sound like truth: "You deserve to be angry." "You need time to yourself." "You should take care of yourself first--no one else will do it."

And then I remember that God takes care of me.

I am also grateful for the sermon of our visiting priest today. He reminded us of the power that is within us. He reminded us that we will always be tempted. During Lent, many of us may be tempted even more than usual if we are trying harder than usual to keep our focus on God.

He reminded us of the power of the word, "No!"

"No, I won't yell at my children." "No, I won't gossip about someone who I'm not fond of." "No, I won't allow that thought to be in my mind." "I will not allow myself to do that action which I know is unpleasing to God."

We have a choice, a free will, and we have power through Jesus to claim that good choice. We cannot fall back on the excuses that we were "tempted" or "not strong enough." We have a helper in the Holy Spirit. We can choose the pleasing choice.

But when we sin, and we will, we can refuse to repeat our sins. We can return to the LORD who is waiting for us.

I am so grateful for a merciful Father, waiting for our return.



Hosea
by Gregory Norbert

Come back to me - with all your heart
Don't let fear keep us apart.
Trees do bend - though straight and tall
So must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you
to your heart where I will speak.
Integrity and justice
with tenderness you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life

You shall sleep secure with peace
faithfulness will be your joy.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life.


Christine at Brady's Bunch got me started on Grains of Gratitude. I am grateful.

Hold Me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

~Rich Mullins~

Getting Ready

I love to know ahead of time when company is coming. I am a lazy person by nature and don’t always have my house “company ready.” Something I think would be great, would be to to throw open the door with pride and allow someone to see my gleaming home.

But if you drop in unannounced (and if you are in the neighborhood, I hope you do!) don’t expect too much. You will see the piles of books, the half-finished projects, and clean laundry in baskets, unfolded (the dirty laundry, I try to hide!) . Hopefully those dishes won’t be in the sink. You will likely see the computer, smack in the middle of the living room, left on someone’s blog where I got interrupted for everyday life. That is my reality.

But if you call me (maybe) I might be able to make sure the vacuuming is done, the bathrooms are cleaned, just maybe those pesky dishes will be put away and it is possible I might have something more than coffee, tea and my favorite butter cookies for a snack.

It is possible.

Preparing takes a lot of work, but given the chance it is a joy to offer hospitality to our friends and family.

There are two times of preparation during the liturgical year, Advent and Lent. Both are times of spiritual housecleaning, if you will. Times to prepare our heart for the glorious feasts of Christmas and Easter/Resurrection Sunday. Time to renew our hearts and return to the One who loves us more deeply and more perfectly than any love we find in humanity.

The times of preparation are great gifts to us. We are given time to prepare. The arrival date is announced. Company is coming! Clean out the cobwebs of sin and indifference. Wash the windows of our soul. Even though we have welcomed Him into our hearts before, we have a chance to renew the joy of our first experience, our first love for the Maker of the Universe. The Maker of us, the one who knew us in the womb.

During Advent we prepare with joy for the coming of the Christ Child, The Price of Peace the Son of God, King of Kings, all wrapped in one tiny little being of an infant. What a beautiful mystery and what a joy.

We all know that the stable was likely to have been cold and the smells of the animals was heavy in the air, it was likely dusty or muddy. But it is a moment, for us, of joy. I think that is why we often drape the Holy Family in white or gold or lovely impractical colors in our nativity—our small gift to the Infant Jesus; our gift we weren’t there to bring over 2000 years ago. Advent is a path to rejoicing. We decorate our houses and prepare a birthday celebration.

Lent, too, is a path to rejoicing. Even more glorious than Advent, Lent culminates in Easter, Resurrection Sunday, the Victory over death and sin.

But to get to Easter we mush pass through a dark valley of Good Friday/Passover, Holy Saturday, the day of darkness and lingering doubt for the apostles, the quiet, quiet waiting.

In the 40 days of Lent we confront why it was necessary for our Savior, the One who knew no sin to suffer for all our sins; to die the painful death we, not He, deserved. He allowed Himself to be totally stripped of His glory, that we may be grafted in to the Vine, that we may someday join Him in heaven.

Lent for me offers an ugly mirror to clean. Oh, if someone looked at my life they could say, I could say, there aren’t BIG sins there. You know, the sins that land you in prison, the sins and scandals that make the headlines.

But that mirror is dark and shabby, smoky and dirty from all the little, petty offenses. And sometimes it is easier to sweep those under the rug and forget that they, too, are the cause of the lashes of the whip, the gouges of the thorns, the hammering of the nails

The rug needs more than vacuuming. The carpets need torn up and replaced. Cobwebs are clinging to the walls. Those dishes are still in the sink.

Company is coming. I need to get busy and prepare.

Behold, what Manner of Love the Father Has Given Unto Us

Joel 2:12-18

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.
For gracious and merciful is he,
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment.
Perhaps he will again relent
and leave behind him a blessing,
Offerings and libations
for the LORD, your God.

Blow the trumpet in Zion!
proclaim a fast,
call an assembly;
Gather the people,
notify the congregation;
Assemble the elders,
gather the children
and the infants at the breast;
Let the bridegroom quit his room
and the bride her chamber.
Between the porch and the altar
let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep,
And say, "Spare, O LORD, your people,
and make not your heritage a reproach,
with the nations ruling over them!
Why should they say among the peoples,
'Where is their God?'"

Then the LORD was stirred to concern for his land
and took pity on his people.


2nd Corinthians 5:20-6:2

Brothers and sisters:
We are ambassadors for Christ,
as if God were appealing through us.
We implore you on behalf of Christ,
be reconciled to God.
For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin,
so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.

Working together, then,
we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.
For he says:

In an acceptable time I heard you,
and on the day of salvation I helped you.

Behold, now is a very acceptable time;
behold, now is the day of salvation.


Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms,
do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

"When you pray,
do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

"When you fast,
do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you."




Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.

Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return. Genesis 3:19

Repent, and believe in the good news. Mark 1:15 (NIV)

And saying, The [appointed period of] time is fulfilled (completed), and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent (have a change of mind which issues in regret for past sins and in change of conduct for the better) and believe (trust in, rely on, and adhere to) the good news (the Gospel). Mark 1:15 (AMP)


Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 1 John 3:1 (KJV)

Now that you've cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your lives depended on it. Your new life is not like your old life. Your old birth came from mortal sperm; your new birth comes from God's living Word. Just think: a life conceived by God himself! That's why the prophet said,

The old life is a grass life,
its beauty as short-lived as wildflowers;
Grass dries up, flowers droop,
God's Word goes on and on forever.
This is the Word that conceived the new life in you. 1 Peter 22-25 (The Message)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

Advent, Day One

Isaiah 63:16b-17,19b;64:2-7

You, LORD, are our father,
our redeemer you are named forever.

Why do you let us wander, O LORD, from your ways,
and harden our hearts so that we fear you not?

Return for the sake of your servants,
the tribes of your heritage.

Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down,
with the mountains quaking before you,
while you wrought awesome deeds we could not hope for,
such as they had not heard of from of old.

No ear has ever heard, no eye ever seen, any God but you
doing such deeds for those who wait for him.

Would that you might meet us doing right,
that we were mindful of you in our ways!

Behold, you are angry, and we are sinful;
all of us have become like unclean people,
all our good deeds are like polluted rags;
we have all withered like leaves,
and our guilt carries us away like the wind.

There is none who calls upon your name,
who rouses himself to cling to you;
for you have hidden your face from us
and have delivered us up to our guilt.

Yet, O LORD, you are our father;
we are the clay and you the potter:
we are all the work of your hands.




Wonderful Advent posts and links:

The Anchoress

Momopoly

Praying for Grace

My Domestic Church

O Night Divine

Standing Firm/Staying Put (Part Three)

Part One & Part Two

Since the moment I stepped into this duplex I have been trying to figure how to move out again.

But we've decided not to move.

In this home for almost five years God has drawn us back to Him. He has shown us what and who (and WHO) is most important. He has given us opportunities to repair a lot of damage we created. We have gone from in debt over our eyeballs to most likely being debt free by the end of the year. How’s that for a Christmas present?

He has given our sons some stability even when circumstances were less than desirable. He has allowed us opportunities for our sons to find and expand their talents. He has allowed us to homeschool—something we’ve not wanted to compromise on.

In this home we have seen joy, even in the worst of times.

In this home we have learned about contentment.

And I think we (I) have a few more lessons to learn.

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Since the moment I stepped into this duplex I have been trying to figure how to move out again.

But I am not.

And I am okay with it. At least most of the time. We are pretty sure we will move. We have a target city, although since I’ve opened my mind about staying, I’ve opened up about the location of our future.

This place is where we are going to stay a while longer for a few reasons:

First, while I dislike the neighborhood, it could be worse. It is a known evil.

Second our landlord is easy to get along with. While she’s not great about making this place a palace, she minds her own business and not ours.

Third, the rent is cheap. It would cost us double to rent elsewhere for about five hundred more square feet.

Other thoughts are: it is within walking distance of a bus line, grocery store, library, pharmacy, our insurance agent, gas stations and some doctors’ offices. When you share a wall, either in a duplex, townhome, apartment, whatever, you take chances with the neighbors. We sit out with ours quite often and chat. So again, it could be worse.

We have decided to make this place comfortable. The money that we would have spent moving (deposits, utility changes, etc.) we are going to use for some much needed storage solutions. We are going to save for new appliances. Hopefully the ones we have will last the rest of our time here. We could buy them if we had to, but moving appliances is hard on them and hard on us—I am really getting older!! The last move about wiped me out. I fell down a tiny flight of steps and took three weeks to get over it. And still had to move in the meantime.

We decided to paint if it will make me happier. And you know color does help moods. I’ve taken a good look at what it would involve to paint and maybe it would be a good idea—not easy, but a good idea.

I’ve been reading a lot about people decluttering and minimizing. I never thought I could do that. I’m a packrat, I mean crafter. I love books, I love stuff. But if I don’t get rid of some of this I will have to move it when the time comes. I’ve decided to quit buying things that I don’t need right now. Except books. I mean I am going to quit buying things.

We didn’t come to this decision lightly. Since making it, there have been many incidents that have caused us to rethink our choice. We feel like we are being tested.

But I’ve seen what it looks like when GOD wants you to move. You can try to thumb your nose at Him, but if you allow Him to work it seems to go much easier and the rewards...well they are of God's choosing. I'm finally to the point I'd rather have God's good choices for me than my poor picks.

So for now…We are staying put, standing firm.

*********************************

Coach Jenny wrote a wonderful post that mirrored my thoughts and blessed me to read. I encourage you to check it out!

Standing Firm/Staying Put (Part Two)

Part One

Yesterday I started to tell you about why I am not moving even though I really want to. Even though I am watching other people move and I think it is exciting.

The story starts not almost five years ago when we moved in here, but almost sixteen years ago when we got married.

************************************

When we got married we were not in a good financial position. We tried to avoid our obligations. We lived four miles south of this house. We both had jobs at least 45 minutes from home. We had one car.

Young, newly married, I am embarrassed to admit, very irresponsible, living like two adult children we made a really big mess of things.

And then we ran away.

After three years of marriage we packed up and ran to another state to live near my parents. We both took extremely low paying jobs, but, hey—could it be any worse than the cost of living where we were?

We were about to find out.

One of my major irresponsibilities was a beautiful Morgan show horse, Beau. I was working 40 hours a week in the ophthalmologists’ office to pay the regular bills and at least that many hours at the horse barn where I kept him to pay for his upkeep. It was not a good recipe for a stable marriage. A marriage spent in a stable, maybe, but…yeah it was a bad pun.

Anyway…we ran, horse in tow. And we landed for two months (November and December) in a cardboard box shack clapboard house straight out of Little House on the Prairie. I kid you not. I was really stupid and didn’t take photos. But it was built before the turn of the century. The walls were lathe and plaster and about two inches thick, maybe two inches. We only paid $50 a month for it. It had no furnace. My father bought/loaned us a portable furnace that sat in the dining room. Did I mention--November and December?

Housing improved a little after that we lived in three different farm houses in less than three years. For a short time we lived in what was my favorite place. (The big white farmhouse.)

Then we moved nine hours away, bought a house we never should have, only to manage to sell it days before it was foreclosed on. (The ranch--loved the house, just had no business buying it.)

Then with the boys we moved back and lived with my parents for three impossibly long months and then moved into a tiny (about 900 square foot) duplex--the four of us.

Then because of a job situation, we moved here. I didn’t want to leave where we were. I threw one several of my impressive fits. Still, my husband came, interviewed, got the job and looked for a place for us to live. He found this place and rented it. Because of finances I never got a chance to see it until we pulled up with the moving van.

Here we were--spiritual baggage in tow, debts in hand, worse off financially than when we ran away in the beginning.

About four miles away from the place we ran away from.

I could hear God say, “Here is your second chance. Do it right this time.”

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Promise I'll finish tomorrow!

Julie
Standing Firm/Staying Put: Part One

Standing Firm/Staying Put (Part One)

My friend Jenny--Coach Jenny--is moving. I am so very thrilled for her. I have read her blog and watched everything that has happened in her life to get her family to the point of moving. God opened doors and windows, told them to be patient, and boy oh boy, when He said, “Move!” it happened fast. And they have been obedient. Read her story, it’s so encouraging.

My sister is moving. I am happy for her. Probably happier than she is. She does not want to move. But she’s pretty sure this will be a good thing for her children. She and I have talked about the Rich Mullins song that says, “I’d rather fight You for what I don’t really want, than take what You give that I need…” Yeah, we are there.

I’ve watched doors slam closed to keep her from going one direction (the direction she preferred) and open to point her in others. It has been goose-bump evoking sometimes how everything is working out.

Two people who I care about are moving.

And I am not.

A few people who have gotten to know my through my blog know that I really want to move. I’ve been praying and hoping and planning to move for quite a while.

But I am not moving.

************************************

Since the moment I stepped into this duplex I have been trying to figure how to move out again.

It’s true. What I wanted to write was, “Moving has been on our hearts for a while.” But that is not true. It sounds so much sweeter, but it just isn’t so. My husband and my sons, especially my sons, have been content with the space. I’m the one who wants to get out of "Dodge".

I’ve bucked and whined and thrown countless tantrums to God about this place. It’s ugly and old and ratty. I don’t like the neighborhood. I don’t like the layout. Not enough bathrooms, not enough storage, too far from this, to close to that. And God has patiently listened to all my complaints and did not budge. He has not moved (or let me move) one inch.

So imagine my surprise when out of my mouth came, “I think we should stay at least another year.”

My husband and I were having a conversation, one of how many I’ve lost count, about the pros and cons of moving. He’s heard my complaining almost as often as God has. He was saying that if it was that important, we could consider moving at the end of summer.

Imagine his surprise when I mentioned staying.

I don’t know who was more shocked, him or me.

Tomorrow I will start at the beginning; not almost five years ago when we moved in here, but almost sixteen years ago when we got married.

I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say

Matthew 11

28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was, weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting place, and He has made me glad.

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Behold, I freely give
The living water; thirsty one, stoop down, and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank of that life giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived, and now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “I am this dark world’s Light;
Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise, and all thy day be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found in Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that light of life I’ll walk, till traveling days are done.

Words by Horatius Bonar, 1808-1889
Music: Kingsfold; Traditional English Melody arranged by Ralph Vaughn Williams



I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say has other melodies associated with it. The Kingsfold Melody is my favorite. This melody also goes with these words by Louis F. Benson


O Sing a Song of Bethlehem

O sing a song of Bethlehem, of shepherds watching there,
And of the news that came to them from angels in the air.
The light that shone on Bethlehem fills all the world today;
Of Jesus’ birth and peace on earth the angels sing alway.

O sing a song of Nazareth, of sunny days of joy;
O sing of fragrant flowers’ breath, and of the sinless Boy.
For now the flowers of Nazareth in every heart may grow;
Now spreads the fame of His dear Name on all the winds that blow.

O sing a song of Galilee, of lake and woods and hill,
Of Him Who walked upon the sea and bade the waves be still.
For though like waves on Galilee, dark seas of trouble roll,
When faith has heard the Master’s Word, falls peace upon the soul.

O sing a song of Calvary, its glory and dismay,
Of Him Who hung upon the tree, and took our sins away.
For He Who died on Calvary is risen from the grave,
And Christ, our Lord, by Heaven adored, is mighty now to save.

Come Ye Sinners

Come Ye Sinners - Amy Grant & Fernando Ortega




Traditional Hymn by Joseph Hart

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore
Jesus ready, stands to save you
Full of pity, love and power

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O, there are ten thousand charms

Come, ye thirsty, come and welcome
God's free bounty glorify
True belief and true repentance
Every grace that brings you nigh

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden
Lost and ruined by the fall
If you tarry 'til you're better
You will never come at all

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O, there are ten thousand charms

See Him Prostate in the garden
On the ground your Maker lies
On the bloody tree, behold him
Sinner, will this not suffice?