All or Nothing? Or Maybe a Little...?

 Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! For why will you die, O house of Israel? Ezekiel 18:31

Before Lent I read a suggestion that instead of giving some things up to try moderation. The writer suggested that moderation is harder than total fasting from a thing. I would be inclined to agree. And apparently Ezekiel was of the same mind. The Scripture says "Cast away from you all your transgressions..." The Scripture says to be "new". 

Some families choose to honor Sundays as a "mini-feast" or a "mini-Easter." Some families choose not to practice this with vehemence. Until ten years ago, I didn't know it was an option! I don't know where I was, maybe I missed that day at Parochial school. If you count "these forty days of Lent," indeed, there are more than forty if you count Sundays, so the practice makes total sense. Late to the party, I thought this was brilliant and decided to give it a go. Truly it was harder to indulge on Sundays and resume abstinence on Mondays.

I'm not diminishing moderation. I can't give up eating, totally. I must learn to eat in a manner that is healthy. I must choose to put the best things I can into my body. There may be things that are fine for other people that will not do for me. I may be more sensitive to some things than most people. I may be fine with things that others cannot have. But it is easier to get rid of something completely than to try to maintain control. In the last year my family moved. I found it was easier to change some bad habits living in a new home. Sadly I found some other bad habits...or perhaps they found me. 

This Lent I am trying both methods--total fasting in some areas and moderation in others. I think I am seeing many areas of weakness brought to light both ways. 

What practices do you observe and do you choose fasting and abstinence or moderation?

Counting it all joy,

Julie

Happy Time Change!!

Which one speaks to you more?

 Most of us tolerate the "Fall Back" time change a little better than the "Spring Forward," but I think most would agree that messing with "time" messes with us.

We went to Mass last night. The chaotic rush to church on the Sunday of Daylight Savings time does little to exhort us to holiness. In fact it may cause us to dance a little too near sin. So we agreed to Saturday Mass and I changed the clocks when we got home.

I have two teens, so sleep is premium around here. My oldest is on a kick that time is relative (he's right). And my youngest lives virtually in England (in his heart and via the internet). My husband has periods of 24 hours on call and occasional technology crises. So this household is not unaccustomed to dealing with messed up sleep, But I always dislike the socially imposed time change.

I wonder what would happen if I refused. Hmmmmmm....

Joyfully adjusting,

Julie

Looking in a Mirror

From there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find him if you search after him with all your heart and soul. In your distress, when all these things have happened to you in time to come, you will return to the Lord your God and heed him. Because the Lord your God is a merciful God, he will neither abandon you nor destroy you; he will not forget the covenant with your ancestors that he swore to them. Deuteronomy 4: 29-31

When I read the Old Testament I am always amazed at how easily the Children of Israel forget...

Wow. That's pretty ironic isn't it. Of course it doesn't take long for me to see how easily I forget. Much more so than Israel.

"Surrender don't come natural to me 
I'd rather fight you for something
I don't really want
Than to take what you give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees"--Rich Mullins--Hold Me Jesus

The good news is that God does not forget. God is forever merciful. All I have to do is return. All I have to do is heed His voice.

Isn't it lovely that Jesus will walk with us as we return?

Count it all joy, 

Julie

...for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. Galatians 7-8

Gardens are magical. Whether a formal garden with carefully arranged flowers, trees, shrubs and decorations or a humble backyard vegetable patch,  there is something about a garden that causes the visitor to breathe deeply, pause and admire and feel life. 

If a garden is planted with poor seeds or sickly plants it will be hard to cultivate and difficult to harvest good things. 

I know a woman, though, who waits until the last of the gardening sales to buy half dead plants at the lowest prices. She has a limited budget and a grand plan. Then she takes them home, plants them in good soil, fertilizes and nurtures them and with much time an devotion they revive and bloom and by the end of the growing season you would never know how her garden started differently than her neighbors. 

Perhaps we have sown poor seeds. Perhaps we have offered withered plants of kindness and generosity. Perhaps if we "soweth to the Spirit," if we water our offerings in the love of Christ and the mercy of God perhaps we shall "reap life everlasting."

Counting it all joy,

Julie

Backsliding Children

I don't like to be called childish. I've attained a certain number of years. I spent much of my past feeling very immature compared to my peers. Whether I was or not was perception I suppose. But events through the last few years have changed me and finally I don't feel like a child. I get up and I creak. I move slowly. I take medications to keep me functioning properly. I have learned to think before I speak more often than not. (A miracle some might say.) I hardly ever watch television. I put others' needs before mine--albeit grudgingly sometimes. I do what needs to be done. Perhaps not always cheerfully. But I do it. I go to church. I say my prayers. I'm not perfect, but pretty good. Right?

But GOD tells me I am childish and worse yet, backsliding. 

And, of course, He is right.

 Go and proclaim these devarim toward the north, and say, Return, thou meshuvah Yisroel, saith Hashem; and I will not cast down Mine anger to fall upon you; for I am chasid (displaying chesed, mercy), saith Hashem, and I will not keep anger l’olam. Only acknowledge thine avon (iniquity, guilt of wrongdoing), that thou hast rebelled against Hashem your G-d, and hast scattered thy favors to the zarim under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed My voice, saith Hashem. Shuvu (Turn), O banim shovaviv (backsliding children), saith Hashem; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one from a town, and two from a mishpakhah, and I will bring you to Tziyon  Yirmeyah 3: 12-14 OJB

From today's noon reading in Jeremiah we hear GOD speak to His people, His children who have turned away. I looked through a few translations some say "fatherless children," one says "revolting children," a couple say "backsliding," one says "disloyal."  some calls the children "faithless." All but one that I looked at called them/us--me--children. 

If I am "fatherless" it is not the Father that has changed. It is me...I backslide--I have good plans and then I get distracted by my poorer, previous choices. I revolt. I change my ways. See the new way is better. I feel better. Life is better. But then I listen to sin and say..."Just once more won't hurt." I am disloyal. I pick the world over the Father. I am "faithless." For if I were "faithFUL" I would believe what I know to be true and behave accordingly. Oh, yes...I am childish. 

Not even three days into Lent and I am wrestling with habits and temptation. But not to despair. I can pick up my cross again and again. I can turn back and try once more to be mature, loyal, faithful and loved by my merciful Father, through the blood of His most holy Son. 

So go and shout words towards the north, and say: "Come back, disloyal Israel, Yahweh/the LORD declares, I shall frown on you no more, since I am merciful,Yahweh/the LORD declares. I shall not keep my anger for ever. Only acknowledge your guilt: how you have rebelled against Yahweh/the LORD your God, how you have prostituted yourself with the Strangers under every green tree and have not listened to my voice,Yahweh/the LORD declares. "Come back, disloyal children,Yahweh/the LORD declares, for I alone am your Master, and I will take you, one from a town, two from a family, and bring you to Zion Jeremiah 3:12-14 NJB

Again, today I choose Christ. 

Counting it all joy, 

Julie

The Sin of Pride

"Excuse me...you have something on your head." says some tentative stranger. "Ummm...yes, those are ashes. It is Ash Wednesday." I reply.

"Oh, I forgot it was Ash Wednesday!" exclaims a non-practicing friend.

One day a year I allow a mark to be placed on my head and go out into the world to face strangers. The mark proclaims who I believe I belong to. It is more personal than any t-shirt or any piece of jewelry. It is right between my eyes so that if someone is to talk to me directly they have no choice but to see it. To see the cross in the ashes on my head.

That day was yesterday and while I've practiced the acceptance of ashes for a good part of my life, it never fails to make me uncomfortable. It is hard to walk around with a cross on your head. Our society is uncomfortable with that. The cross is not gold, not wooden, not even the palms that we sometimes weave out of Palm Sunday palms...but ashes. It is not a cross of pride, but admittance that we are unable to fix our situation of sin on our own. We need the cross that was on Calvary. We need the Lamb who bore our sin and suffering. And He did. And He will stand before the Father for us. To allow us to have the joy of heaven.

Why is it so awkward to walk around with ashes on my head for less than twenty-four hours?

Count it all joy,

Julie

Finding Stillness on the Internet

Return to me, says the Lord of Hosts, and I will return to you. Do not be like your ancestors, to whom the prophets in the past cried ‘Turn back from your evil ways and evil deeds’ but they would not listen. Zechariah 1:3-4

I've been yearning for Lent, lately. Things have gotten out of hand. The world has gotten loud. While I've gotten rid of some bad habits, I've also given into other bad habits. Why couldn't I just let go, use a little self-discipline and make better choices on my own? I don't know. Sometimes, for me it takes Lent to refocus, re-prioritize and reawaken the desires for simplicity. The desires to choose better choices. Maybe it's just me. 

Lent begins today, and on a day when many people are giving up all things internet, all things technology, all things social media...I...am not. 

My poor desolate, little blog...I realized it has been nearly two years since I have updated. And I miss it. It was my quiet space in the midst of all the chaos. I think I am going to try blogging for Lent. Looking back, blogging often was a good time to sort out questions and theories. Blogging caused me to pray differently. It was a good journal for memories that I might have otherwise forgotten. And truthfully when I say that I am a bit sad that I've let two years go by. But I had my reasons. And now...I have other reasons to return. And times I know I am not going to want to forget. 

No promises for how well I will do visiting. I am setting timers for myself during Lent to prevent falling down into the rabbit hole and getting sucked into the Wonderland of the web. For now...I'm just going to see where I am led. 

Count it all joy, 

Julie

Update on Prayer Request

So many thanks for the prayers. I cannot begin to tell you how much we appreciate them.

My youngest is home. He is still having seizure-like episodes, but they seem to be diminishing in the strength and length. While there were some truly, superb people at the hospital, there were those who caused it to be a very upsetting experience. Things got worse in the hospital, not better. Some new problems were created. I will try to expand on that later, if I am able. We are just grateful to be home with our boy.

We still believe that God is in control of all of this. Nothing has surprised Him in anyway, but we do believe there was definitely a spiritual component to all of this. Each member of our family has struggled with odd health issues over the last eight months. Our youngest has had the worst of all the trials. But God is a great and awesome God and we will continue to praise Him in all things.

He has put wonderful people in our lives--those we know personally and those people who we have only met via this odd thing called the internet.

On a physical level we will be pursuing a second opinion and some other guidance. Please pray for the right people to be put in our path, who will focus on what will help not what will give the enemy a foothold. We are praying for a little medicine to be necessary as possible.

On a spiritual level, we are not letting our guard down and will continue to beg prayers from anyone who has some to spare.

Again, many, many thanks.

With much love and joy (trying really hard to find it, but am finding it!) in all things.

Julie

...Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.Job 1:21(KJV)

...But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9(NIV)

Prayers, Please

My youngest son is in the hospital. To say that he is under attack is the biggest understatement. My whole family begs your prayers. We know God is bigger than all things, He works everything for His glory, He will triumph. But we are asking for mountains to be moved in mighty ways in a very fast time frame.

Please pray for my boy.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Trying very hard to find some joy,

Julie

FOR TODAY ...March 5, 2012

Outside my window...Sunshine, light breeze, spring smells.

I am thinking...I am running behind today. Sadly, this is not unusual.

I am thankful for...Homeschooling. I cannot imagine our life if we did otherwise.

From the learning rooms...Youngest is working through a year of folk tales, mythology, fables, fairy tales, fantasy and poetry. Oldest is still adjusting to the demands of an eighth grade schedule, plus two hours of piano, plus three to four hours of dance all crammed into one day.

From the kitchen...left over pizza for one, tamales, chimis and burritos for the other two boys (husband is counted in my "boys" a lot of the time--while always a hard worker, he is somewhat of a class clown--my youngest is THE class clown, though).

I am wearing...not what I should be. Still in jammies.

I am creating...still working on the same projects, a shawl, a scarf, some jewelry.

I am going...to take the oldest to dance and I will visit the pool while I wait.

I am reading...cooking magazines, looking for low-fat, low-carb, low-acidic, tasty & healthy meals to accommodate my family's many needs. Did I mention I have a couple of picky eaters (oldest is NOT one of them)?

I am hoping...to have a helpful appointment with youngest & his doctor tomorrow.

I am hearing...my children discuss technology. Sigh...not what the topic should be, but they're quite animated and knowledgeable.

Around the house...weeding, sorting, praying for more room.

One of my favorite things...my new refrigerator. It holds what it needs to and does not leak on my floor.

A few plans for the rest of the week: putting one foot in front of the other, trying to not get distracted...

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Pretty much my view each afternoon--mine does not have red trim. Gas prices are really getting crazy, huh?

How are you doing???

Be blessed!

Julie


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