This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Spring Cleaning of the Heart

It's been very revealing.

About Lent...on the attempted journey to holiness...I never arrived. I will say that I am more aware than ever of my faults as a parent, a child, a sister, a relative, a friend, a Christian, a Cathlolic. It has been quite humbling to look in that mirror that needed desperately cleaned. Already I see the cobwebs coming back. I just wiped them off!! How quickly we allow ourselves to re-enter the world. But I will take the lessons learned and hopefully, prayerfully travel with more grace and humility.

Today, I'm rerunning an old favorite. It's been two years but it is still timely and appropriate for today--Passover. A Passover that actually falls during Holy Week.

Friday, April 6, 2007

We have walked through Scripture, we have memorized verses. This is the child that at five could stand with the pastor in front of church and give a verse for almost every letter of the alphabet. The brain is on full speed. The teaching and preaching and doctrine have been put in…but that brain works so hard and fast some days coming up with questions. He runs on full gear with other things too like computers and LEGOs and other boys stuff and science and how does that work and can I build this and…well maybe you get a glimpse of the picture. But it’s the questions about God that take my breath away, I can tell they cause him to stop and ponder deeply. There has been this sad little look in his eyes and I just want to say—“I will believe enough for both of us, until I can find the right words to make you believe!” But that is not the right answer.

About a month ago, after a long break, we started attending church again. We started attending a church that my husband and I had both grown up in, but neither son had even been exposed to. The boys wanted to go back to church. Roo has hung on every word from Scripture, every note from the sermon, he has listened and I think he is hearing God.

As a family, in addition to celebrating the Resurrection of our Savior, we have celebrated Passover for five years now. Our Passover tells two stories. The first of God’s provision to rescue the Children of Israel from Egypt, of Moses and then ten plagues. We talk of the unblemished lamb, sacrificed and the blood on the doorposts, to keep the Angel of Death from killing the first born. Our second story is of the Perfect Lamb, the Lamb without sin who shared His last Passover with his disciples and washed their feet and prayed for them and gave Himself, sacrificed Himself that we may have salvation.

This year Roo started asking more questions than the normal and usual ones. He started to ask about Jesus/Yeshua who prayed in the garden so fervently that His sweat ran like blood. He asked if it hurt when He was nailed on the cross. He asked, “Why.” And when the answer finally came to, “For everyone, for us, for you.” Roo was very, very quiet. And those very dark eyes were almost as full as mine. For, I think, at that moment it clicked. The Light of the World went on for sure and forever in that little heart. And that is the moment this momma has lived for .


Two years have past since this post. Last year on Easter Vigil my sons were Baptized, received their First Holy Communion and were Confirmed. This year we approach the Resurrection with joy and anticipation.

Praying your day is filled with the knowledge of Christ's love.

Always in Him,

Julie

4 comments:

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

We are always in the works it seems. Constant changes in our lives mean changes in our hearts. I love the song about 'Change My Heart this time...' I loved hearing about your Passover celebration and the fact that you went back to church and had your sons baptized confirmed and that they made their first communions too. I think it makes a difference for the whole family.
'On Ya'-ma

luvmy4sons said...

When I read taht first intro of your post today I so wanted to reach out and hug you. I know the pressures of all our roles. And I so wanted to tell you that the more inadequate you feel the closer to Jesus you are getting-that means progress. And I wanted to tell you that the work of God is for you to believe on His son the Lord Jesus Christ and you can please Him no more than by doing that work, which you have done! But then I went on to read about your son...oh how pleased God is with your missionary work! God bless you this Easter!

DebD said...

so good to have you back. I hope you've had a peaceful Lenten season.

I have confession today. Pray for me.

Barbara H. said...

I've often thought when I am cleaning -- the same things, again -- that our hearts are very much like our households getting continually dirty and dusty and needing constant maintenance.