This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every moring: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul: therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 21-26

Friday, November 16, 2007

Restarting? Did I Ever Finish?

January 1st, the next birthday, the start of the new school year, after tax season, next payday, Monday, the beginning of next month, tomorrow…what do they all have in common? They are the days that procrastinators are most fond of. They are the day that I am always talking about. They are the days when all things will be fresh, when I will be motivated to tackle the hard stuff and move upward, onward and to that Nirvana of perfection.

I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I was a “spur of the moment” type gal. I could be flexible and adaptable. Whatever life was dishing out would not faze me because I was a seat of the pants type person. I rolled with the punches.

Well this punching bag is just a bit weary. It’s not December 31st yet and I am already tired from the hassle, razzle dazzle frazzle, jingle jangle, food laden, guilt laden holidays. And I haven’t even started decorating. Or shopping. I am already looking at resolutions for my “new year.” I am evaluating my old year. Already. And I’m not terribly impressed with what I see.

Aren’t I just full of the joy of the LORD today?

Actually... I am.

I’m trying to look back and see what I have accomplished.

Well maybe it’s not all that bad. Even though I have failed miserably at some things—and I do mean failed, as in I didn’t even make a start, let alone a dent in a couple of my goals, I guess, if I am honest, there are a few things I am actually proud of. And if I look at the boys it is obvious that they haven’t suffered too much under my mismanagement. In fact, there are areas where they’ve downright flourished. If I am particularly careful I can check back to see there are some areas of spiritual growth, which I’m pretty sure go in the positive column. And I am going to allow myself a little room for some particularly rough patches that have come this year. Like then and that.

But that doesn’t mean that I am satisfied. Because if I were satisfied I would not be in the mood for changes.

But who makes big changes this time of year?? Ahhhhhhh…that is what I keep arguing with myself about. “Self,” I say, “Self, don’t you think we (not because I’m royal, but because there’s enough of me for two) don’t you think we should wait until January 1st, the next birthday, the start of the new school year, after tax season, next payday, Monday, the beginning of next month, tomorrow…to start implementing the new stuff, the hard stuff, the out of our comfort zone stuff? Change is frustrating, change is painful, change is…well change is HARD.”

Ahhh-hah!! There is the root of it. So I say, “But self, look what good things came this year when we did make changes. When we left our comfort zone, tried new things, met new people, did the thing we least wanted to do. Look at some of the fun we had. Look how much more we learned about God. Look at the memories we are happy we did not miss.

Just look.

So I think I am going to start making some changes today, and tomorrow and hopefully, maybe, I will get over myself and my self-consciousness and my fear of offending. Hopefully, maybe, I will start stepping out physically, emotionally, mentally and stop being so lazy and wait for life to change me. Hopefully, maybe, you will join me on this journey to a better place and while we’re waiting around down here we can make this place just a little more comfy and welcoming. Because I think I have a lot of room to grow. And a lot more joy to find.

So that is my plan. To keep working on joy. To make the days more joy filled. What better time of the year to start?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Love About Roo


Roo turned 10!! I walked out of the room for thirty seconds & came back to find a pre-(gulp)-teen. Who actually mentioned how his hair looked last week. As in, “Did you notice I tried something different with my hair, Mom?” What IS UP WITH THAT?

Last week we left religion class and a young ummm…lady crawled halfway out of her father’s vehicle and literally shouted, “Bye, Roooooooo!! See you next week!”

“Who was that?” I nervously asked.

“Oh that was______(insert adorable Southern influenced name). She’s really nice.”

SIGH. SIGH…HEAVIER SIGH…

But I love my Roo. Yes I do and let me move on to my Thursday Thirteen and tell you why:

1. He has a tender heart. He cried, nay almost sobbed when Harry died in Spiderman. He cried while reading the Sarah, Plain and Tall series. He actually read the Sarah, Plain and Tall series, for goodness sake and didn’t argue that it was too sissy. He cares about our pets and our friends. And he is often the one to notice my moods. Some girl (in the far, far distant future) is going to love this about him. But she’s going to have to kill her own spiders.

2. He is truthful, even when it will put him in a bad light. I don’t know how often he’s come to me and said, “Mom, you are not going to like this, but I have to tell you…” George Washington & his cherry tree need to make room. It’s that serious.

3. He is always wanting to know more about things. Especially God. He has challenged me to dig deeper and really know what I believe. I love to hear his questions after church. They are wise and insightful. What a gift children are!

4. He is focused. I have heard that from so many people who have worked with him in class and on stage. He’s been know to make a mistake, but he is pretty sure to know how to fix it.

5. He is polite, especially out of our home. But not in an Eddy Haskell way. He can be a typical child at home. But I am proud to take him out in public.

6. He could care less about what he wears. Well…at least he didn’t. The hair last week is making me sweat this one. His brother (three years his junior) already cares about what is on his back. Roo has so far been grateful just for fresh and clean.

7. He is a very serious boy under the layer of silliness. He’s a deep thought thinker. He considers the options and knows that there is more to life than his video games. But he’ll set the serious aside for a good split-screen match with his brother. Still a kid!

8. He cannot be quiet for longer than five minutes unless asleep, and has been known to talk in his sleep occasionally.

9. He is asking for the chance to help around the house. (He may think it will get him some cash). I am planning to take advantage of this really soon!

10. He is not boastful about his talents. And even though I am prejudiced, he really does have a few.

11. He can be brave. He was the grandchild that went up to ICU to say “goodbye” to his grandma. He didn’t want to. He didn’t have to. He didn’t like what he knew. But it was his choice to go and kiss his grandma goodbye. He drew himself up, took a deep breath and was determined. I think that was the bravest thing he’s ever done. Although I am pretty sure there will be more things he will face.

12. That said, he’s brave but not full of bravado. He’s not too ready to go traipsing off into the world yet. He’s very aware that he will at some point want to be shed of his Mommy, but that day (thankfully) isn’t here yet. .

13. He’s a good friend. He looks for the best in people. He’s been picked on before and tries to make sure that none of his friends are bullied. He stands up for what he knows is right and in the end, tries to make sure everyone ends up friends.

My Roo. I’m off to find a brick to put on that handsome head!

Happy TT everyone. Find other TT'ers at the Hub!

THE PURPOSE BEHIND THE THURSDAY THIRTEEN:The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. What do you do? Write Thirteen things about yourself, summarize your week in one entry, make it easy for other bloggers to get to know you on a weekly basis. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Shhhhh...

Looking over your shoulder






Visit other Wordless Wednesday participants!

That's Just the Way It Is...

A Day’s Dazed Reality
Alternately Titled:

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
The Van Driving of the Sugar Plump Fairy

Cue the Tchaikovsky. Taste the bon bons, smell the Arabian Coffee and Chinese Tea and feel the pink tulle floating by…well no, not really. Except maybe the bon-bon part. And I do like coffee. Yes, I really do. Tea is nice. Well Tchaikovsky does get played a lot, come to think of it, both on the CD player and the piano.

Just skip the tulle. No one, really no one, around this house of testosterone will touch tulle. Even the Lone Lady (me) who owns very little pink and absolutely NO tulle.

The Sugar Plump Fairy—yep, 's'pose that’s me. Sugar is our friend and more so when combined with chocolate and Plump?? Egads!! Times two or three, but the Sugar Fat Fairy just didn’t have the same ring. So I’ll stick with plump.

So the reality of many days…?

My cell phone rings. It is my sister. We are trying to coordinate calendars so we can actually, you know, see each other. She is working (she is always working). She says, “What are you doing?” and then already knows the answer. Because it is what I am always doing (so it seems).

“I am in the car, driving to dance.”

I got that line from a dance forum I visit—obviously another parent. How is it that the mother of two sons is embroiled in the Nutcracker season (oh yes, it starts this early!! In fact it started mid-October!)? If anyone was concerned about me when they learned we homeschool they were even more terribly confused when they find that our main extra-curricular activity involves…dance. Specifically ballet. Cue the confused and speculative looks.

If they were going to ask the, “What about socialization?” question, they are now really curious as to the answer. Yes there is a social life for young gentlemen who pursue the actually challenging, tough, athletic and artistic life of a dancer. We are grateful our studio is home to at least eleven young men, ages six to sixteen, who know the difference between a tendu and a touchdown. And can talk about both. The boys’ dressing room is a zone of chaos and hi-jinx. Somewhat quieter than a hurricane and no pink allowed.

And the boys’ moms are a bit of a different breed. We worry about whether or not tights are opaque and the other necessary accoutrements for boys. We are grateful for the knowledge we will not have to be buying pointe shoes, ever, at no less than $50 a pair (often higher). And endure dirty looks from a minority of girls’ mothers who believe our children are shown favoritism and their darlings are discriminated against. But that is another story. Which I choose to totally ignore.

For better or worse, my days are filled with young men using my furniture for springboards. They may be channeling Spiderman or Drosselmeyer. They might be asking to play Sonic the Hedgehog or if they can show me their latest soubresaut. Our school day has been enlarged to include study for a spelling and vocabulary test which one child needs to advance to the next level (of dance, not grade). But the benefit of that is now he knows the difference from an accent grave and an accent aigu. And he is acquiring a passable French accent. Sadly it is most used to imitate Inspector Clouseau saying, “I would like to buy an ‘amberger!!”

Ooops sorry!! Must run! It’s time to pack up the bon-bons…we’re getting in the car…and driving to dance.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Grains of Gratitude

Belated posting on "Grains" today. My cup has seemed to runneth over with busyness, although my house certainly doesn't show any evidence of that. But again, and as always there is so much to be grateful for.

Without doubt I am grateful to the men and women who have served our country. Veterans's Day seemed a little more special this year because I feel that this is the year my sons have gained appreciation for what the many in military do for our country. When we were at church this morning I was humbled with gratitude at the number of veterans and active military members my church is home to. I have to tell you there were a few tears. Thank you to all that have and all that continue to serve.

A little less emotional, but still awesome, I was grateful for the majesty of this gorgeous fall day. Again sharing with my boys makes it even sweeter. The vibrant colors and just the leafy smell really helped my heart. Fall is my favorite time of year.

Yesterday I was blessed to be a guest at a babyshower for a good friend. She is having a baby in Decemeber and it was a wonderful occasion to see friends I hadn't seen for a long time. It was so fun to see all the tiny baby clothes and cute little baby toys. I am looking forward to this baby. Her mommy is so dear to me. It is wonderful to see my young friend grow & mature.

We are grateful for safe travel, both for my family who visited and for us personally. The boys and I are on the road a lot more with rehearsals and I am aware of how much we take safety for granted sometimes.

I am grateful for all the wonderful people I have met via this blog. Two who remind me to keep the focus on the wonderful gifts in life are Leah at South Breeze Farm is hosting 30 days of thankfulness which has blessed me. And of course always Christine at Brady's Bunch who began Grains of Gratitude.

What are you grateful for?

Friday, November 9, 2007

'Tis the Season

The first holiday of this season has passed for my family. We’ve never been limited by the calendar for celebrations. If it falls in the same month (or near enough) we’ve been able to make the best of any situation.

Many circumstances encouraged us to hold our “Birthday-giving—Thanks-day” this week. It wasn’t even a weekend. It was made even more hectic because it was “watch week” for the boys at their extracurricular activity.

So we had one child who will shortly be 12! And one who is 10! And lots of turkey and traditional food. And cakes. Yes plural. Because each birthday child needs their own cake. Don't you know. And presents. All the children get presents. Oh my. Because my mother and father decided long ago that it was not fair for just the birthday child to get the goodies. All the children get something on each other’s birthday. Which seems a lot like Christmas, doesn’t it. Thank heavens there are only four of them. Grandchildren, that is.

So since I wasn’t on the receiving end of the gifts but was on the cooking end of the food, I totally blew any semblance of a diet that was going on in my mind at least. I am trying to convince myself that I can repair the damage and not continue to eat my way through the holidays.

My father, sister and her children have left us and only the debris of our gathering remains. I am contemplating the merits of cleaning first and then shopping for the baby shower gift I need for tomorrow or shopping first and cleaning. Anyone who remotely knows me will guess what will really happen. It is likely I will shop first to avoid the idiots lovely horde that descend on the retail landscape on Friday nights, come home, get distracted by my computer and forget to clean and remember only in time to get supper on the table. Martha Stewart, I’m not.

And school? Oh the boys will be working on these for a while, I think.

Thanks, Grandpa.

Fall Into Reading Book Review

A Hideous Beauty by Jack Cavanaugh

Kingdom Wars I: A Hideous Beauty by Jack Cavanaugh
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms –The Bible

A whirlwind of a read.

A Hideous Beauty is a powerful and thrilling book that addresses head on the war that wages around us. The lead character, Pulitzer Prize winning author Grant Austin, comes face to face with just how close that war is. He goes from a vague belief in God to a irrefutable confrontation angels in a very short period of time. He learns angels aren’t the pretty pocketcard picture of a gentlefaced ethereal person. He learns angels aren’t anything like what he might have had a passing thought about. Austin is dragged into an assassination attempt and the veil between the spiritual realm and the earthly realm are opened for him and for the reader to see.

How close is the spiritual battle? Mr. Cavanaugh presents a view that will take your breath away. Angels good and evil and the minion demons that surround the evil side are written in a truly believable style. I would be fascinated to read Mr. Cavanaugh’s research material for this book. And I am excitedly waiting for the second installment, because A Hideous Beauty is the first in a series that is planned. An interview with Mr. Cavanaugh from the Glass Road Public Relations appeared earlier in my blog here.

I realized only as I was writing this review that A Hideous Beauty was the second political thriller that I had read for the Fall Into Reading Challenge, the first being The Divine Appointment. Each book has a completely different premise and completely different characters, but the one shining thing in common was that they are written by Christians from an unapologetically Christian perspective. It was exciting to read intricate, educated writing with an eternal message on every page. These are thought provoking books that you could hand to a secular reader and not worry that they would not be interested.

Head on over to Katrina at Callapidder Days to check out more reviews for this challenge.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Children's Book Monday

Helen Keller: Courage in the Dark
by Johanna Hurwitz
Illustrations by Neverne Covington

The story of Helen Keller never fails to inspire me. Recently I began to search for biography's that Boo could start reading on his own. He has a very tender heart and I thought that he, too would be touched by her courage and accomplishments.

I found this "Step into Reading" series book and was not disappointed. The book is listed as a 2nd or 3rd grader reader and this is a very accurate description. The language is a wonderful balance of challenging and accessible, introducing the child reader to the inspirational Helen Keller.

Boo was very excited about reading this book and proceded (unasked) to give me the synopsis of the book. What better praise there could be, I'm not sure. Johanna Hurwitz story is precisely what I was looking for and the illustrations by Neverne Covington are colorful and delightful.

Looking for a way to introduce biographies to your young reader? Helen Keller: Courage in the Dark is a fantastic place to start.

Visit Elise at A Path Made Straight for more ideas for Children's Book Monday.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Fall Into Reading Review

The Divine Appointment by Jerome Teel


Mr. Teel has created a fast paced novel that kept me guessing for quite a while. And even after the facts are starting to become clear it was a race to finish the book so I could “see” the hows and why’s fall into place.

This political suspense drama is worthy of a prime time script. Mr. Teel’s characters are immediately riveting. He begins with a Christian lawyer who is so involved with his career that he is missing the joys of family, two young female lawyers one who is establishing her career and the other making tragic choices, an arrogant, self-sufficient and successful cardiologist who is bent on ruining his marriage, a young investigative reporter, a senate majority leader who doesn’t surprise me, his assistant who doesn’t surprise me either, a president who most certainly does surprise me, and wives. Four wives who never meet, but who are all connected by and influence the other players in surprising ways.

The worst thing about The Divine Appointment was that it left me unsatisfied with the reality that screams daily from our newspapers. I believe there are "real live"people who believe as some of the "heroes" in Mr. Teel's book believe. I just wish they'd step up to the plate and run for office and fight the dragons that hide in the halls of our politcal system.

The Divine Appointment was suspenseful and exciting. It kept me reading into the wee hours. I could not put it. down.

This is a book that I received from a book "blog tour" and if you would like to read an interview with Mr. Teel you can look here.

I read this for Katrina at Callapidder Days' Fall Into Reading Challenge. She's got lots of readers participating and writing reviews. Check it out!

Grains of Gratitude

This week I am going to remember to be grateful that my husband has a job. Even though the job and the circumstances are threatening to stress us both out.

Situations have become crises causing the Cave Geek to leave the house within about a half hour of coming home Friday night. He and his geeky counterpart worked until 3 a.m. or so Saturday morning, came home and then had a confrence call until five.

Yes, I am happy he has a job.

I am also happy that MY friend (well she is my husband's friend too) called and had ONE spare ticket to a professional football game. The Cave Geek needs a little R&R and I think this will be good for him. I've just reminded him that was she not MY friend (first) he would not be going. He really can use this and I am excited for him. I can live without the football.

I am grateful that Boo is pretty good at taking meds. (Something Roo wasn't good at for a long time.) Unfortunately we've gotten to practice because he is fighting the sinus bug/cold that seems to be getting passed around. He is much more susceptible to those things than Roo is. But he is improving and that is a good thing.

This week my father, my sister and her children will be descending on my tiny home and we will be having an early Thanksgiving-Birthday extravaganza. We will not ALL be together on the actual turkey day, so we are starting a new tradition. In the past we've always done birthdays at my parents' house, but with rehersals and classes taking up so much time, my sister generously volunteered to come to visit. Oh!! And it is watch week so the cousins will be able to go to the boys classes. So it will look like Roo and Boo have their own audiences. Too much fun!!

I am grateful for friends the LORD has placed around me. There are a couple new ladies who a year ago I was acquainted with, but have recently become much more close and dear to me. They have provided support in ways I would have not thought possible before. God always has surprises.

Also I am thankful for Leah at SouthBreeze Farm who is being the hostess for a month of thankfulness. She started the I'm Giving Thanks challenge and it is never to late to start doing that.

As always Grains of Gratitude is the brainchild of Christine at Brady's Bunch. The weekly opportunity to give thanks for the blessings I've received each week has really given me a chance to think.

I am grateful for my blogging friends who have shared so much so freely.

What are you grateful for?